Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart below shows the native languages spoken by students at Bakersfield Senior College over two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. - Write at least 150 words. - You should spend around 20 minutes on this task.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the native languages spoken by students at Bakersfield Senior College over two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. - Write at least 150 words. - You should spend around 20 minutes on this task.

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The image displays a pie chart titled "Smartphone Use by US Attorneys in one Year by Operating System" which shows the distribution of smartphone operating systems used. The percentages for each category are: Iphone 62%, Android 20%, BlackBerry 5%, Windows 3%, and None 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of attorneys using four kinds of smartphone operating systems, iPhone, Android, Blackberry and Windows, in the US in a given year.

Overall, iPhone was choosen mostly than other smartphones among attorneys. However, Android stood in the second place after iPhone.

As can be seen from the chart, iPhone usage accounts was almost two thirds of all smartphones with 62% of all attorneys using the systems. This is a stark contrast to the other three operating systems named Android, Blackberry and Windows, which together only contain 28% of all attorneys smartphone usage.

It is true to mention that, Android was second most widely-used option and its proportion was about 20%. While Blackberry and Windows struggle to make up them remainder 5% and 3% respectively. Particularly 10% of attorneys do not use smartphones or do not want to take part in this survey.

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

attorneys: 5

android: 4

systems: 3

iphone: 3

blackberry: 3

windows: 3

smartphones: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie chart and makes relevant comparisons. There is a clear overview and the data is generally presented accurately. However, there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved. To enhance the response, focus on refining sentence structure and ensuring precise language use. Also, ensure that the introduction correctly refers to the information presented in the pie chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview and identifies key trends. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping similar points together and using transitions more effectively to guide the reader through the information. For example, you could combine the discussion of Blackberry and Windows into a single sentence or paragraph to emphasize their relatively small proportions. Also, the conclusion feels a bit tacked on; try to integrate it more smoothly with the preceding analysis.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While the language is generally accurate, using more sophisticated vocabulary could enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'choosen mostly than other smartphones,' consider using 'the most prevalent choice' or 'the preferred operating system.' Also, vary your phrasing to avoid repetition; for example, instead of repeatedly saying 'usage accounts,' try 'adoption rate' or 'market share.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a basic understanding of grammar, but there are several errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'iPhone usage accounts was almost two thirds' should be 'iPhone usage accounted for almost two thirds'), correct tense usage, and article usage. Also, be mindful of sentence structure and avoid run-on sentences. Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly improve the report's grammatical accuracy.

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