Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a pie chart illustrating causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011: working parents 27%, lack of revision 20%, poor facilities 10%, unskilled teachers 35%, and upbringing 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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the pie chart illustrates the results of a survey of the problem of poor instruction outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

over all, whats stands out from the pie chart is that the obstacle appeared with five differrent reason.Different percentage shows different causes.

the highest percentage in unskilled teacher which was 35% and the lower percentage is in lack of revision. We can also see followed by unskilled teacher the pie chart also shows upbringing which was 27%. Also we can see working parents which was 20%. Furthurmore, we can also see poor facilities

In conclusion. we can say is for unskilled teacher and leastly lack of revision in the reason followed by other causes.If we want to solve this problem we should reduce the causes. To reduce poor learning outcomes in school unskilled teachers should be removed.Government should take necessary step to reduce students upbringing. Student should revise their studies. Parents should look after their children.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

should: 5

unskilled: 4

chart: 3

percentage: 3

teacher: 3

which: 3

reduce: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main features of the pie chart, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, it incorrectly identifies 'lack of revision' as the lowest percentage (it is actually 'upbringing' at 8%), and it mislabels 'working parents' as 20% (it is 27%) and 'upbringing' as 27% (it is 8%). Additionally, the report includes irrelevant recommendations in the conclusion, which are not appropriate for a task that requires summarising data. The structure is somewhat disorganised, and there are grammatical and lexical errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data, making clear comparisons, and avoiding personal opinions or suggestions. Organise the information logically, for example, by grouping the highest and lowest percentages, and ensure the word count is sufficient.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to organize information but lacks clear progression and logical flow. The introduction is present, but the overview is vague and not clearly separated. The body paragraphs are not well-structured, and the conclusion introduces new ideas (solutions) that are not part of the task. Cohesive devices are used in a limited and sometimes inaccurate way (e.g., 'Also we can see', 'Furthurmore'). The report would benefit from a clear overview paragraph and a more logical ordering of data, with comparisons made explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some inaccuracies (e.g., 'poor instruction outcomes' instead of 'poor learning outcomes', 'obstacle' instead of 'causes', 'leastly' instead of 'least'). There is an attempt to use a range of words, but the control is not natural or precise. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and precise terms (e.g., 'accounted for', 'represented', 'the most significant factor'). Avoid informal or incorrect phrasing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that impede understanding. There are sentence fragments, missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and run-on sentences. For example, 'the highest percentage in unskilled teacher which was 35%' is not a complete sentence, and 'In conclusion. we can say is for unskilled teacher' is grammatically incorrect. The report also lacks a range of sentence structures. To improve, focus on writing complete sentences, using correct punctuation, and varying sentence structures (e.g., using relative clauses, passive voice, and complex sentences).

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