Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a pie chart illustrating causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011: working parents 27%, lack of revision 20%, poor facilities 10%, unskilled teachers 35%, and upbringing 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrates such as of a survey of the effects of a poor learning outcomes in schools in particular country in the years of 2011.

Overall , the unskilled teachers was the highest portion ,while the lack of revision the lowest percentages causes of poor learning outcomes schools in a particular country.

Firstly ,we see the highest porportion was 35% , which was unskilled teachers in 2011 . Next come to second highest percentages was upbringing , its was slowly decreased and its also shows 27% by 2011.

On the other hand , the working parents , lack of revision as well as poor facilities the lowest portion. The first lowest portion was lack revision , which was 8% by 2011. The second lowest percentage was poor facilities , its also shows 10% . Finally , the last lowest portion was waorking parents, which was 27% in 2011.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

lowest: 5

portion: 4

highest: 3

revision: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The structure is weak, and the description of the data is not always clear or accurate. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language. Also, ensure that you correctly identify and compare the main features of the pie chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant issues in coherence and cohesion. The organization of information is unclear, and the transitions between ideas are weak. The overall structure needs improvement to present the information in a logical and easily understandable manner. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and the flow of ideas is disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Focus on creating a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a specific aspect of the data, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'however,' 'in addition,' 'similarly') to link ideas and sentences together smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The lexical resource is limited, with repetitive use of words like 'portion' and 'percentages.' There is a lack of precision in vocabulary, which affects the clarity of the report. Expand your vocabulary related to describing data and trends. Use synonyms and varied language to avoid repetition and make the report more engaging. For example, instead of 'portion,' consider using 'segment,' 'share,' or 'proportion.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually increase the complexity as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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