Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a pie chart illustrating causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011: working parents 27%, lack of revision 20%, poor facilities 10%, unskilled teachers 35%, and upbringing 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The pie chart below provide information about the results of a survey of the causes of poor education outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

Overall, the cause of poor education the most influenced by unskilled teachers and less lack of revision. There are also some impacts to poor learning outcomes in school by working patterns, poor facilities, and poor facilities in a particular country in 2011.

Starting from worth cause, the most cause to the poor education influence by unskilled teachers, which accounted for 35%. The second reason is upbringing, which is represented for 27% among other reasons. Working parents is also the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes, which accounted for 20%.

Turning to less effects, one of them is poor facility. Poor facility did not do much harm, but it is not the least of the results. It is reaching approximately 10%. Lack of revision depicted less harm fro poor education and represented for only 8%.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 4

results: 3

outcomes: 3

cause: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main features of the pie chart, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in the description. The organization is present but could be improved for better flow. The language used contains some errors that affect clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, use transition words like 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' or 'Similarly' to show the relationships between different causes. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the chart to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is a reliance on simple words and phrases, such as 'poor education' and 'cause.' To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data. For example, instead of 'poor education,' you could use 'suboptimal learning outcomes' or 'deficient academic performance.' Also, vary your descriptions of the percentages; instead of always saying 'accounted for,' use synonyms like 'constituted,' 'represented,' or 'comprised.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('provide' instead of 'provides'), incorrect preposition use ('influence by' instead of 'influenced by'), and awkward phrasing ('worth cause'). To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Proofread carefully for errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and word choice. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors.

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