Pie Chart

Band 7+: the supplied pie chart enumerates the comparison of the online shopping for selling section in canada from 2005 to 2010

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The image displays two pie charts titled 'Online sales for retail sectors in Canada' for the years 2005 and 2010. In 2005, the sales percentages were: Electronics & Appliance 35%, Food & Beverage 22%, Home Furnishings 25%, and Video Games 18%. In 2010, the percentages were: Electronics & Appliance 30%, Food & Beverage 32%, Home Furnishings 15%, and Video Games 23%.

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Two pie charts illustrate the percentage of four types of online sales, including electronics and appliances, food and drinks, and home furnishings and games for retail sectors in Canada from 2005 to 2010.Overall, the proportion of electronics and food decreased, whereas the opposite was true for home furnishings and video games. The proportion of online sales of electronics and appliances stood out among them with its highest figures while the reverse was undeniably true for home furnishings.

Looking at the chart, we can witness that the percentage of electronics and appliances was 35%, considered the highest among other types of retail in 2005. However, it experienced a minimal decrease to 30% in 2010.Moreover, this was followed by home furnishings, which constituted a quarter of sales and declined to 15% in 2010.

In contrast, the food and beverage market ranked third; commencing at 22% in 2005, it increased 10 percentage points higher within 5 years. Finally, the video game sales accounted for 18% in 2005 before rising to 33% in 2010.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 4

electronics: 4

percentage: 3

appliances: 3

furnishings: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and providing some data. However, there are several inaccuracies: the overview incorrectly states that electronics and food decreased, while food actually increased; it also misidentifies home furnishings as the lowest, when video games had the lowest figure in 2005. Additionally, the final data for video games is incorrect (33% instead of 23%). The report includes some irrelevant phrasing (e.g., 'we can witness') and lacks a clear, accurate summary of the key changes. To improve, ensure the overview accurately reflects the main trends, and double-check all data points for accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the overview could be more accurate and the paragraphing could be improved by separating the discussion of each category more clearly. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but some transitions are abrupt (e.g., 'Moreover, this was followed by...'). Overall, the message is easy to follow, but there is room for more sophisticated cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a good range of vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'illustrate', 'proportion', 'constituted', 'commencing at', 'accounted for'). There are some minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'the reverse was undeniably true for home furnishings' could be more precise, and 'increased 10 percentage points higher' is redundant). The lexical resource is adequate but lacks the full flexibility and naturalness of a band 9.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. There are a few minor errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'increased 10 percentage points higher' should be 'increased by 10 percentage points', and 'the reverse was undeniably true' is slightly unnatural). Punctuation is generally correct. The grammar is mostly accurate, but not flawless, so it does not achieve full flexibility and control.

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