Pie Chart

Band 5+: the pie chart shows different after-school clubs attended by pupils at oldtown school. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: the pie chart shows different after-school clubs attended by pupils at oldtown school. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows five labels with pie charts: "a quarter" shaded 25%; "a half" unshaded; "a third" unshaded; "two thirds" unshaded; "three quarters" unshaded. Percentages with descriptions: 1 (almost all) 98%, 2 (just under half) 48%, 3 (almost two thirds) 64%, 4 (about half) 51%, 5 (approximately a third) 34%, 6 (nearly three quarters) 73%. Pie chart data for after-school clubs: Book club 9%, Sports 23%, Drama club 14%, Choir 22%, Photography 6%, Pottery 5%, Art club 21%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart provide information about various after-school programs that took part in by people at oldtown school.

Overall,it is clear that sports choir was the most accompany club,while pottery and photography has the lowest percentage among others.

Looking at the diagram in detail , it is obvious that sports and choir was the most popular club since they got 23% and 22% of attenders. Meanwhile, the percentage of art club was almost identical about 21%,with dominance of drama club which has 14%.

Focusing on the other half of pie chart, it is avident that the least percentage of visitant has pottery with only 5%,which was 1 percent less than photography. Although book club has 9% which was a bit higher that pottery and photography.

Word Count: 124

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

pottery: 3

photography: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie chart and makes some relevant comparisons. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., stating sports and choir were the most popular). To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and consider grouping clubs into broader categories for a more concise overview. Also, proofread carefully for grammatical errors. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate overview and some logical organization, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied and effective to enhance the flow of information. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, but there are instances where more precise or sophisticated language could be used. For example, instead of 'took part in by people,' consider 'attended by students.' Aim to expand your vocabulary related to describing data and trends to provide a more nuanced analysis. Also, ensure correct spelling throughout the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('The chart provide'), subject-verb agreement issues ('sports choir was'), and incorrect word usage ('most accompany club'). Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Vary your sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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