Pie Chart

Band 6+: the pie chart shows different after-school clubs attended by pupils at oldtown school. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows five labels with pie charts: "a quarter" shaded 25%; "a half" unshaded; "a third" unshaded; "two thirds" unshaded; "three quarters" unshaded. Percentages with descriptions: 1 (almost all) 98%, 2 (just under half) 48%, 3 (almost two thirds) 64%, 4 (about half) 51%, 5 (approximately a third) 34%, 6 (nearly three quarters) 73%. Pie chart data for after-school clubs: Book club 9%, Sports 23%, Drama club 14%, Choir 22%, Photography 6%, Pottery 5%, Art club 21%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The presented graph shows the percentage of different activities attended by students of the Oldtown School in 2020.

It’s clear that sports, choir and the art club are the most popular after-school clubs while pottery, photography and book club are the least attended ones.

The most popular activity is sports attended by 23% of students, just below we find the choir with 22% and art club with 21%. On the other hand, the least attended club is pottery with only 5% of students, right above there is photography whit 6% and the book club with 9% of students.

The difference beetween these activies is so high that the percentage of the three least attended after-school clubs together doesn’t reach the percentage of students who play sports, with 20% for the three activities and 23% for sports.

Word Count: 136

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

attended: 5

students: 4

sports: 4

percentage: 3

least: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie chart and makes relevant comparisons. There is a clear overview and the data is presented logically. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the combined percentage of the three least attended clubs). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider including a wider range of comparisons to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the data. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding statement. The information is presented in a logical order, making it easy to follow the main trends and comparisons. However, there's room for improvement in using cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly. For example, transitions between paragraphs could be strengthened to enhance the flow of information. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing the data. Terms like 'most popular,' 'least attended,' and 'percentage' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and descriptive adjectives to add depth and precision to the descriptions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'most popular,' you could use alternatives like 'predominant' or 'favored.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report generally demonstrates good grammatical control, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. However, there are a few errors that affect the overall clarity and accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct spelling, and the proper use of prepositions. Reviewing and correcting these minor errors will significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of the report.

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