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Band 5+: The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Revenue Sources and Expenditures of a USA Charity in one year, 2016. Task 1 Sample - Revenue sources and expenditure of a charity

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Image for topic: The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Revenue Sources and Expenditures of a USA Charity in one year, 2016. Task 1 Sample - Revenue sources and expenditure of a charity

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The image presents two pie charts for a USA charity's finances in 2016, with total revenue sources amounting to $53,561,580 and total expenditures reaching $53,224,896. Revenue sources: Donated Food (86.6%), Community Contributions (10.4%), Program Revenue (2.2%), Investment Income (0.2%), Government Grants (0.2%), Other Income (0.4%). Expenditures: Program Services (95.8%), Fundraising (2.6%), Management and General (1.6%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The above mentioned pie chart describes the expenditure and income of a child’s charity in USA . It is observed from the pie chart that the expenditures of the institution is less than its revenue sources .

A charity institution’s aim is wellbeing of children. It’s majority of revenue comes from food donations, which is about 86.6% . Besides, different communities also contribute which is 10.4% of revenue. Moreover different investments and government grants include a significant part of revenue which is about 0.2% each . Other incomes include about 0.4%.

However a charity institution needs to spend a part of their income in some social activities to raise the funds. For example it need to spend a lot for program services. Again it needs to spent a minor part of its expenditure on fundraising and management and general.

Word Count: 139

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

revenue: 4

charity: 3

which: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the pie charts, such as the dominance of donated food as a revenue source and program services as the main expenditure. However, the report includes some inaccuracies and lacks sufficient detail. For instance, it mentions that investments and government grants include a significant part of revenue, which is not accurate as they only contribute 0.2% each. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and providing more specific comparisons between the revenue sources and expenditures. Also, ensure that all main features are addressed with relevant details. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a reasonable overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is adequate, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences to guide the reader. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, affecting the flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. For instance, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' to clarify the relationships between different data points. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the data to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There is some repetition of basic words like 'revenue,' 'expenditure,' and 'charity.' To enhance lexical resource, try incorporating synonyms and more precise language. For example, instead of 'different communities also contribute,' you could say 'community contributions also constitute a significant portion.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement problems, and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'It's majority of revenue comes from food donations' should be 'The majority of its revenue comes from food donations.' To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report and focus on correcting basic errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to enhance grammatical range.

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