Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts comparing the percentages of the day spent by working adults on various activities in 1958 and 2008; in 1958: working 33%, sleeping 32%, going out with friends/family 19%, travelling to work 2%, relaxing at home 8%, other activities 6%; in 2008: working 42%, sleeping 25%, going out with friends/family 6%, travelling to work 7%, relaxing at home 13%, playing sports 7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Through the pie chart we see above

We can explore the various percentages of the day spent by working adults in many different activities in a comparison between 1958 – 2008.

In the year of 1958 the three major activities were working, sleeping and hanging out with familiars, in comparison with 2008 which we can clearly see that almost up to half do work and the bulk goes between working, sleeping relaxing at home.

Less flinging with friends and family when compared to 1958, which seems strange as 2008 the transoprtation became easier even an easier options to reach a friend/ family member. However, as per the pie chart it seems the 2008 population still prefers relaxing at home or sleeping rather than hanging out even with the developed tools we have.

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 3

sleeping: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but lacks detail and specific data. The analysis is superficial and doesn't fully explore the trends and changes between the two years. To improve, include specific data points to support your observations and provide a more thorough comparison of the activities in both years. Also, avoid speculative comments (e.g., about transportation) that are not directly supported by the data. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the main points and comparisons between the two years. Consider structuring your report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or comparisons, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast,' 'similarly,' 'however') to link ideas and sentences effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and imprecise ('hanging out with familiars,' 'less flinging'). There is a need to use more accurate and varied vocabulary to describe the data and trends. For example, instead of 'hanging out with familiars,' you could use 'socializing with family and friends.' Expand your vocabulary related to time allocation and social activities to enhance the clarity and impact of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, the first sentence is grammatically incorrect, and phrases like 'the bulk goes between' are not idiomatic. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofread carefully to identify and correct grammatical errors.

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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