Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts comparing the percentages of the day spent by working adults on various activities in 1958 and 2008; in 1958: working 33%, sleeping 32%, going out with friends/family 19%, travelling to work 2%, relaxing at home 8%, other activities 6%; in 2008: working 42%, sleeping 25%, going out with friends/family 6%, travelling to work 7%, relaxing at home 13%, playing sports 7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts illustrate data regarding the day spent by working adults over the period of 1958 and the year 2008. Overall, it is evident that in 1958 the working hours were the highest, whereas travelling to work was the lowest. In addition, in the year 2008 working hours also had the highest percentage, while going out with friends and family was the lowest.

The differences between the two pie charts are: firstly, in 1958 people spent 19% of their time going out with friends and family, whereas by 2008 these numbers plunged to only 7%. Another difference is that in the year 1958 people spent 2% travelling to work ,while in 2008 it rose slightly to around 7%. By 1958 playing sport and relaxing at home were 6% and 9% respectively. In 2008 it increased to 8% than 13% in that order.

The main similarities as per the pie charts are the maximum amount of time was spent working, both in 1958, which was 33%, and in 2008, when it was 42%.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spent: 4

working: 4

charts: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, identifying key features and making comparisons. However, there are some omissions and lapses in the data reported. For instance, the report mentions 'playing sport and relaxing at home were 6% and 9% respectively' which is inaccurate based on the provided data. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and complete, and consider a more structured approach to comparing the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on differences and similarities, and an overall statement. However, the transitions between some sentences could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. For instance, in the second paragraph, connecting the sentences about the changes in 'going out' and 'traveling to work' with more explicit transition words would improve coherence. Also, avoid repetition by using synonyms.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, effectively describing the data in the pie charts. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more precise vocabulary related to time allocation and trends. For example, instead of 'plunged,' you could use 'decreased significantly' or 'dropped sharply' to add more nuance. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay closer attention to prepositions and articles. For example, 'in 1958 people spent 2% travelling to work ,while in 2008 it rose slightly to around 7%.' could be rephrased for better accuracy. Also, ensure consistency in verb tense throughout the report.

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