Pie Chart

Band 8+: The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.

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The image shows two pie charts of women's highest education level in someland in 1945 and 1995; in 1945: No Schooling 35%, Third Grade 1%, Year 6 15%, Year 9 10%, Year 12 40%, First Degree 0%, Post Graduate 0%; in 1995: No Schooling 0%, Third Grade 0%, Year 6 10%, Year 9 15%, Year 12 50%, First Degree 20%, Post Graduate 5%.

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The two pie charts compare the highest level of education attained by women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.

Overall, it is clear that women’s education improved significantly over the fifty-year period. In 1945, most women had little or no formal education, while in 1995 the majority had completed higher education.

In 1945, the largest proportions of women had either no schooling or only third-grade education, at 35% each. A further 15% had studied up to Year 6, and 10% reached Year 9. Only small minorities completed Year 12 (4%) or gained a first degree (1%), and virtually none had postgraduate qualifications.

By contrast, in 1995, half of all women held a first degree, making it the largest group. In addition, 20% had completed Year 12, and another 20% had postgraduate qualifications. The remaining 10% had studied up to Year 9. Notably, no women were recorded as having only primary education or no schooling.

In conclusion, the charts illustrate a dramatic shift from low educational attainment in 1945 to widespread higher education in 1995.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 6

women: 5

completed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key features of the data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs. For example, the report states that in 1945, 4% of women completed Year 12, when the chart shows 40%. Similarly, in 1995, the report incorrectly states that half of all women held a first degree (it was Year 12), and that 20% had postgraduate qualifications (it was first degree). Paying closer attention to the details in the charts and ensuring accuracy would improve the response. Also, the report could benefit from a more nuanced comparison of the data, rather than simply stating that education improved.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and easy to follow. The information is presented logically, with a clear overview, detailed comparisons, and a concise conclusion. Paragraphing is effective in separating different aspects of the data. To further enhance coherence, consider adding more explicit linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader more smoothly through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to describing trends and proportions. The language used is appropriate for an academic report. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary to describe the changes and differences observed in the charts.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates excellent grammatical control, with a wide range of structures used accurately and appropriately throughout. There are virtually no errors in grammar or punctuation. The sentences are well-constructed and contribute to the overall clarity of the report.

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