Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.

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The image shows two pie charts of women's highest education level in someland in 1945 and 1995; in 1945: No Schooling 35%, Third Grade 1%, Year 6 15%, Year 9 10%, Year 12 40%, First Degree 0%, Post Graduate 0%; in 1995: No Schooling 0%, Third Grade 0%, Year 6 10%, Year 9 15%, Year 12 50%, First Degree 20%, Post Graduate 5%.

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The given pie charts illustrate information about the largest educational qualification achieved by women in the years 1945 and 1995.

Overall, most of people couldn’t go to the school in the first given year,while in the second year, these indicator was changed completely.

Looking at the data in more detail, the highest numbers were no schooling and third grade categories with 35%, following by 6 years of education recorded 15% in 1945. Year 9 and year 12 sections accounted 10% and 4%, respectively. While the smallest percentage was first degree in the university at 1%, in the given period. Unfortunately, none of them reached postgraduate level.

When it comes to the second chart, in 1995, half of the women have educated a bachelor’s degree, post graduate and high school groups represented the same level, at 20%. Whereas 10% of women have completed 9 years of education the given time frame. As a result, in this year all females have studied.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

given: 4

women: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the 1945 data is not entirely accurate (Year 12 is stated as 4% instead of 40%). The 1995 data description also has inaccuracies (half of the women have educated a bachelor's degree is incorrect, and the percentages for postgraduate and high school are misrepresented). The final statement, "As a result, in this year all females have studied," is an overstatement. To improve, ensure accuracy in data reporting and avoid generalizations not fully supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but there are some noticeable lapses in coherence and cohesion. The overall structure is present, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth, which can make it slightly difficult for the reader to follow the analysis effortlessly. For example, the transition between the description of the 1945 data and the 1995 data could be clearer. Consider using more effective linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise and sophisticated. Some phrases are not entirely natural, which affects the overall impression. For example, 'these indicator was changed completely' could be rephrased for better clarity and impact. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing data and trends, and practice using more varied and precise language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Common errors include subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect use of articles, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'most of people couldn't go to the school' and 'half of the women have educated a bachelor's degree' contain grammatical errors. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.

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