Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show the age groups of the users on different social media platforms in Australia in 2011.

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The image displays five pie charts representing age groups of users on social media platforms in Australia for the years 2011, 2012, and 2013. In 2011, Facebook takes the largest share with 59%, followed by Twitter at 21%, LinkedIn at 10%, Google+ at 5%, and Pinterest at 5%. In 2012, Facebook's share drops slightly to 49%, Twitter rises to 23%, LinkedIn remains at 10%, Google+ increases to 6%, and Pinterest at 12%. In 2013, Pinterest sees the highest growth reaching 38%, Facebook falls to 15%, Twitter to 14%, LinkedIn to 8%, and Google+ to 25%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given three pie charts illustrate the proportion of users who use social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google and Pinterest in Australia from 2011 to 2013.

Overall, throughout the period facebook was most popular platform choose by Australian users, however it steadily decreased between 2011 and 2013. Linkedin and Google user was continuously increasing.

Probing the main details, In 2011 Pinterest and Google had same number of users who use social media. The further one was slightly increased nearly 3 % of users by 2013, after 2 years google users was also increasing till 2013, Which was 14%. Furthermore proportion of people who use LinkedIn was also rose.

Probing the remaining details, Facebook had covered majorly 59 percentage of social media user. Facebook was in leading till end of period. In contrast, facebook user was significantly slight down to 38 percentage only in 2013. Twitter hold only 21 proportion of people in 2011 and ending of 2013 it had one of fourth number of users.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

users: 6

facebook: 5

google: 4

proportion: 3

social: 3

media: 3

linkedin: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and omissions. It misinterprets the data, stating that LinkedIn and Google users were continuously increasing, which is not supported by the visual description. It also incorrectly claims that Facebook was leading until the end of the period, whereas the data shows Pinterest had the highest share in 2013. The report omits key details about the trends for each platform and fails to provide a clear overview of the changes over the three years. To improve, focus on accurately describing the main trends and comparisons, and ensure all data points are correctly represented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs for details. However, the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'The further one was slightly increased nearly 3 % of users by 2013' is confusing. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'Probing the main details' and 'Probing the remaining details', which are not standard. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear aspect, with smooth transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited in range and precision. There are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'choose by Australian users' (should be 'chosen by Australian users'), 'had covered majorly 59 percentage' (should be 'accounted for 59%'), and 'significantly slight down' (contradictory). To improve, use a wider range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'rise', 'fall', 'decline', 'surge'), and ensure precise word choices. Also, avoid informal or incorrect expressions like 'one of fourth' (should be 'a quarter').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('Linkedin and Google user was continuously increasing' should be 'users were'), incorrect verb forms ('was slightly increased' should be 'increased slightly'), and missing articles ('the further one' should be 'the former'). There are also run-on sentences and incorrect use of commas. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for punctuation. Focus on using past tense consistently and accurately.

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