Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show the age groups of the users on different social media platforms in Australia in 2011.

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The image displays five pie charts representing age groups of users on social media platforms in Australia for the years 2011, 2012, and 2013. In 2011, Facebook takes the largest share with 59%, followed by Twitter at 21%, LinkedIn at 10%, Google+ at 5%, and Pinterest at 5%. In 2012, Facebook's share drops slightly to 49%, Twitter rises to 23%, LinkedIn remains at 10%, Google+ increases to 6%, and Pinterest at 12%. In 2013, Pinterest sees the highest growth reaching 38%, Facebook falls to 15%, Twitter to 14%, LinkedIn to 8%, and Google+ to 25%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates a group of users on unlike social media platforms from 2011 to 2013.

Overall, the most used platform is Facebook. A half of chart was taken by Facebook. The least used program is Pinterest.

Firstly in 2011 the most used program is Facebook. 59% of Australians used Facebook. 21% citizens of Australia used Twitter. In 2011 10% of residence used LinkedIn program. and two lowest used programs are Goggle and Pinterest.

But by 2012 there were some changes. Percent of users of Facebook had decreased. 49% citizens used Facebook. Twitter users increased to 23%. Also, LinkedIn users grow up to 12%. Google users grow up to 5%. However, Pinterest users increased only to 6%.

Lastly, there were some dramatic changes. Facebook used 38% of citizens. 25% of Australians used Twitter. 15% used LinkedIn. 14% of citizens used Google. but only 8% of Australians used Pinterest.

Word Count: 149

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

facebook: 7

users: 6

citizens: 4

program: 3

australians: 3

twitter: 3

linkedin: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the pie charts, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reported. The organization is present but could be improved with a clearer structure. The writing contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the charts and organizing the information more logically, perhaps by grouping similar trends together. Also, proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The information is not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the trends and changes across the years. Consider grouping information by year or platform to improve coherence. The use of cohesive devices is limited, resulting in abrupt transitions between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'used,' try 'accessed,' 'engaged with,' or 'preferred.' Expand your vocabulary to describe trends and changes more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and misuse of articles. Sentence structure is simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and incorporating a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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