Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show the age groups of the users on different social media platforms in Australia in 2011.

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The image displays five pie charts representing age groups of users on social media platforms in Australia for the years 2011, 2012, and 2013. In 2011, Facebook takes the largest share with 59%, followed by Twitter at 21%, LinkedIn at 10%, Google+ at 5%, and Pinterest at 5%. In 2012, Facebook's share drops slightly to 49%, Twitter rises to 23%, LinkedIn remains at 10%, Google+ increases to 6%, and Pinterest at 12%. In 2013, Pinterest sees the highest growth reaching 38%, Facebook falls to 15%, Twitter to 14%, LinkedIn to 8%, and Google+ to 25%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts illustrate the proportion of age groups who uses social media channel in six distinct sections from 2011 to 2013.

Overall, Facebook was the most dominating website among the six sites. While , google and pinterest remaind the least positions, even though followed by increasing trend in the next both years.

In 2011, The supporters of the facebook was the popular platforms by reaching a peak at 59%. The second position occupied by twitter at 21%. In contrast, google and pinterest stay same with 5% , and linkedln was 10%.

In 2012, the percentage of facebook users faced a mere decrease by 10% (49%) still remained first placed, while twitter and linkedle was saw a small increase at 23% and 12% both respectfully.

By 2013, followed by stable increase trend the ratio of social channel supporters reach at 25% in twitter , linkedle at 15%, and google at 14%.Additionally pinterest remaind least by 8%. Although the proportion of facebook followed by falling trend stay in peak place at 38%.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

facebook: 4

google: 3

pinterest: 3

followed: 3

trend: 3

twitter: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data and some issues with clarity. The organization is present but could be improved by grouping the information more effectively. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and ensuring clarity in your descriptions. Also, pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant issues in coherence and cohesion. The organization of information is unclear, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often abrupt. The overall structure needs improvement to present a more logical and understandable analysis of the pie charts. Consider using more effective linking words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smoother flow of information. Paragraphing should be more carefully managed to group related information together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'supporters,' 'dominating website,' 'least positions'). To improve, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary to describe trends and proportions. Consider synonyms for commonly used words and phrases to enhance the sophistication of your language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review each sentence for errors and consider using a wider range of sentence structures to express ideas more effectively. Pay close attention to punctuation, which also needs improvement.

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