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Band 6+: The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group used to watch television in Canada in two different years.

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The image displays two pie charts for the years 2009 and 2019: In 2009, the distribution is segmented into five categories with values 15%, 20%, 5%, 18%, and 8%, with the largest segment at 34%. In 2019, the distribution is segmented into the same number of categories with values 26%, 12%, 19%, 12%, and 4%, with the largest segment at 27%.

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The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of devices people in used 18 to 25 aged to watch television in Canada in the years 2009 and 2019.

Overall, at the beginning of the period tablet accounted for the smallest proportion, while conventional TV made up the highest share. In comparison, at the end of the period flat-screen TV was the dominant category, while conventional TV was minimal.

Mobile phone was 15% in 2009, and grew to 26% in 2019. However, tablet accounted for 5% in 2009 but after 10 years increased to 19% in 2019. Flat-screen TV stood at 8% in 2009 and climbed to 27% in 2019.

Laptop accounted for 20% in 2009, while it fell to 12% in 2019. At the beginning of the period, desktop computer was 18% in 2009 but at the beginning of the period declined to 12% in 2019. Finally, conventional TV stood at 34% in 2009 but few years later dropped to 4% in 2019 over the period.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

period: 5

years: 3

beginning: 3

accounted: 3

while: 3

conventional: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the information presented in the pie charts, providing a clear overview of the changes in device usage for television viewing among 18-25 year olds in Canada between 2009 and 2019. The overall trends and specific data points are well-presented. To further enhance the response, consider ensuring consistent language throughout and refining some of the phrasing for greater precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an overview and body paragraphs, but the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. The phrase 'at the beginning of the period' is overused. Consider using varied language to connect ideas and avoid repetition. For example, use transition words like 'similarly', 'in contrast', or 'furthermore' to enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'accounted for' or 'stood at,' try synonyms like 'represented,' 'constituted,' or 'comprised.' Also, consider using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add detail and sophistication to your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. For example, 'people in used 18 to 25 aged' should be revised for better grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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