Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing percentages: in 2003, Travel 36%, Film/Music 21%, Books 19%, Clothes 24%; in 2013, Travel 29%, Film/Music 33%, Books 22%, Clothes 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of sales made from books, travel,film/music and clothes in New Zealand between the year 2003 and 2013.

Overall, it is evident that the chart reveals a similar trend throghout both years. The percentage of sales made through travel exceeded all the other sectors in 2003 while in 2013, film/music made the highest proportion of sales within that period.

In terms of travel and film/music, there was an increase in sales with 36% over 21% respectively, whereas books had the least record in supply with approximately 19% followed by a slight increase of about 5% over books.

On the other hand, the highest amount of consumer patronage in the year 2013 was on film and music while the least was on clothes reaching 18 percent. Between travel and books, there was a slight increase in expenditure with the proportion 29% and 22% respectively.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 4

proportion: 3

books: 3

travel: 3

increase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The organization is present, but the description of the data could be more precise and comprehensive. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the pie charts and ensuring that all key features are addressed with specific details. Also, ensure that comparisons are clear and supported by the data. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction provides a basic overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. The organization of details sometimes feels disjointed, making it harder to follow the comparisons between the two years. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the data. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'By comparison' to highlight the relationships between different sectors and time periods. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or comparison to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity. For example, using 'proportion' and 'percentage' interchangeably is acceptable, but varying the language could demonstrate a broader lexical range. Consider incorporating synonyms or more specific terms related to sales and consumer behavior. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, refining word choices could elevate the overall quality of the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'throghout' should be 'throughout,' and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. The phrase 'increase in sales with 36% over 21% respectively' is unclear and grammatically awkward. Similarly, 'least record in supply' could be phrased more accurately. Focus on improving sentence structure and ensuring correct verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Proofreading carefully for spelling errors and grammatical inconsistencies will significantly enhance the report's accuracy.

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