Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing percentages: in 2003, Travel 36%, Film/Music 21%, Books 19%, Clothes 24%; in 2013, Travel 29%, Film/Music 33%, Books 22%, Clothes 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the data of online sales for retail industries in New Zealand for the years 2003 and 2013. Overall, it is evident that the parcentages of two of the categories(books and film/music) increased from 2003 to 2013, whereas the other two groups(clothes and travel) decreased.

Firstly, in 2003, travel was the most popular sale section which accounted for 36% while film and music was the greatest share of 2013 at 33%. However, books were the least sales in 2003 only at 19% of the whole sale parcentage, while the clothing were only sold 16% which is the smallest sale of 2013.

Moreover, Film and music were sold just over a fifth which was the second highest purchases in 2003 , whilst they were sold slighty over one-thrid in 2013. On the other hand, travelling was the second highest sale in 2013 made up to almost one-third of the whole sale.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons. There are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., 'film and music was the greatest share of 2013 at 33%'). To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and proofread for grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overall statement are present, but the transitions between details could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined for better clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive (e.g., 'sale'). Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons more effectively. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'sale,' consider alternatives like 'revenue,' 'purchases,' or 'transactions.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including issues with spelling ('parcentages'), article usage, and sentence structure. While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the clarity and impact of the writing. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct these mistakes. Vary your sentence structures to enhance the flow and sophistication of your writing.

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Band 5+: The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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