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Band 8+: The pie charts compares the average spending patterns of two countries in the year 2010.

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The image displays two pie charts, one for Japan and one for Malaysia, detailing percentage distribution across five categories. For Japan, the distribution is: Housing 21%, Transport 20%, Food 24%, Health care 6%, and Other goods and services 29%. For Malaysia, the distribution is: Housing 34%, Transport 10%, Food 27%, Health care 3%, and Other goods and services 26%.

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The given pie charts compare the percentage of money allocated to the following sectors: housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services.

Overall, it is readily apparent that the two governments gave priority to the industry called “other goods and services”. However, health care in both countries remains the smallest sector which receives the least financial resources from the state.

To begin with the state-funded organizations which are considered to be dominant in both countries, “other goods and services” accounted for the highest proportion in both countries, with 29% in Japan exceeding 26% in Malaysia. The food industry in both countries ranks second at 24% in Japan and 27% in Malaysia. In comparison with the rate of housing in Japan, which comprises 21%, the share for Malaysia is bigger by nearly 1.5 times (34%)

Turning to the state organizations- where the allocation is considered a minority, transport systems were not funded as much as the three mentioned categories, with 20% in Japan and 10% in Malaysia. It can be highlighted that medicine is the smallest sector, which gets the least amount of funding compared to others: it is 6% in Japan and 3% in Malaysia respectively.

Word Count: 198

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

japan: 5

malaysia: 5

countries: 4

which: 4

goods: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and a detailed comparison of the data. The structure is logical, moving from general trends to specific sectoral comparisons. To improve, ensure that the terminology used is precise; for example, referring to 'food' or 'housing' as 'industries' or 'state-funded organizations' is slightly inaccurate, as these are expenditure categories rather than the entities themselves. However, the data comparison is accurate and the progression of ideas is smooth.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and easy to follow. You have used a logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview, and then detailed body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In comparison with', and 'Turning to' helps guide the reader through your comparisons. To reach a higher band, try to integrate cohesive devices more naturally so they do not feel like standard 'signposting' phrases, and ensure that the transition between comparing dominant sectors and minority sectors is even smoother.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary to describe proportions and comparisons (e.g., 'accounted for', 'comprises', 'exceeding', 'the share for... is bigger by'). However, there are some slightly awkward or imprecise word choices. For instance, referring to sectors as 'the industry called...' or 'state-funded organizations' is not entirely accurate in the context of budget allocation categories. Using terms like 'expenditure', 'spending', or 'budgetary allocation' would be more precise. Additionally, avoid using 'medicine' when the chart specifically refers to 'health care'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report shows a good variety of complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and comparative structures. Most sentences are error-free and convey meaning clearly. There are minor issues with punctuation (such as the use of a hyphen instead of a colon or dash in 'state organizations- where') and some slight awkwardness in phrasing. To improve, focus on refining your sentence boundaries and ensuring that complex structures are used with complete precision.

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Band 8+: The pie charts compares the average spending patterns of two countries in the year 2010.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie charts compares the average spending patterns of two countries in the year 2010.

The pie charts compares the average spending patterns of two countries in the year 2010.

The pie charts compares the average spending patterns of two countries in the year 2010.

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The chart gives information about the proportion os students choosing different science subjects in a university in 1992 and 2012

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