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Band 6+: The pie charts compares the average spending patterns of two countries in the year 2010.

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The image displays two pie charts, one for Japan and one for Malaysia, detailing percentage distribution across five categories. For Japan, the distribution is: Housing 21%, Transport 20%, Food 24%, Health care 6%, and Other goods and services 29%. For Malaysia, the distribution is: Housing 34%, Transport 10%, Food 27%, Health care 3%, and Other goods and services 26%.

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The pie chart illustrates the ordinary household outgoings in Japan and Malaysia in the year

2010. Overall, housing accounted for the largest share in both countries, while the smallest proportion came from health care in each case. However, Japanese families spent relatively more on other goods, services and transport but Malaysia showed larger percentages on food.

Focusing first on the leading categories, housing accounted for the highest proportion in both charts, with exports 34% exceeding household expenditures in Malaysia, 21% by a noticeable margin in Japan. Similarly, food was a major cost of living expenses at 27% in Malaysia, more than in Japan by about 24%.

Turning to the remaining categories, transport accounted for twice as much in Japan with 20% as in Malaysia 10%, highlighting a strong focus on the Japanese transport system.

Other goods and services showed a similar disparity, making up 29% of household expenditures in Japan in comparison with just 26% in Malaysia. Likewise, healthcare experienced a small share in both cases, with domestic expenses in Japan 6% being exactly double the figure in Malaysia 3%.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

malaysia: 7

japan: 6

household: 3

accounted: 3

transport: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the task and provides a clear overview of the data. The comparisons between the two countries are well-structured and logical. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data presentation that affect the clarity of the report. For instance, the phrase 'with exports 34% exceeding household expenditures in Malaysia' is confusing and does not align with the data provided. Additionally, the comparison regarding food ('more than in Japan by about 24%') is mathematically inaccurate based on the figures provided. To improve, ensure that comparisons are expressed using precise mathematical relationships (e.g., 'higher than' or 'compared to') rather than potentially misleading phrasing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized, moving from a general overview to specific comparisons. The use of cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Focusing first on', and 'Turning to' helps guide the reader. However, some sentence structures are slightly awkward, particularly in the second paragraph where the comparison of housing percentages is phrased in a confusing way. To improve, ensure that comparative structures (e.g., 'compared to' or 'whereas') are used more smoothly to link ideas without disrupting the flow.

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary to avoid repetition, such as 'outgoings', 'expenditures', 'proportion', and 'disparity'. However, there is a significant error in word choice in the second paragraph where 'exports' is used instead of 'expenditures' or 'housing costs'. This changes the meaning of the sentence significantly. Aim for higher precision in your word choices to ensure the technical accuracy of your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a variety of complex structures, but there are several grammatical inaccuracies that hinder clarity. For example, phrases like 'with exports 34% exceeding household expenditures in Malaysia, 21% by a noticeable margin in Japan' are grammatically fractured and difficult to parse. Additionally, some comparisons lack necessary prepositions (e.g., 'with domestic expenses in Japan 6% being...' would be better as 'at 6%'). Focus on mastering comparative sentence structures and the use of prepositional phrases to improve accuracy.

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