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Band 4+: The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

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The image shows two pie charts comparing 1980 and 2008, each divided into six segments by degree and discipline: 1980 - First degree-Art 11%, First degree-Science 20%, Master-Art 13%, Master-Science 29%, Ph.D.-Science 25%, Ph.D.-Art 2%; 2008 - First degree-Art 10%, First degree-Science 12%, Master-Art 12%, Master-Science 29%, Ph.D.-Science 30%, Ph.D.-Art 7%.

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The two pie charts provides information about the percentage of graduates with various educational levels in two different fields in engineering company in the years 1980 and 2008.

Is it clear that gualification levels of employeers improved over time. Ph.D-Science and Master art constituted the largest proportion, while Ph.D- Art and first degree- art made up the smallest proportion of alunmies working in a engeneering company.

In 1980, educational levels of Ph.D- Science and Ph.D- Art levels , both categories increased by 5% over the period, whereas, Master- Science did not have any changes.

By contrast, another three kind of groups decreased by the end of the period. First degree- art and master- art decreased by 1% in 2008. Moreover, first degree- science represented 20% in 1980, and it reduced to just 12% in 2008.

Word Count: 135

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

levels: 4

first: 3

degree-: 3

science: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by comparing the two years, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. For instance, the report states that Ph.D. levels increased by 5%, but it fails to distinguish between the two different disciplines correctly, and the overview contains a question ('Is it clear that...') which is inappropriate for an academic report. Additionally, some mathematical claims are confusing or contradictory. To improve, ensure that every comparison is clearly linked to the specific category being discussed and avoid using interrogative sentences. Focus on grouping data logically (e.g., by degree type or by discipline) to make the trends easier to follow. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by several structural issues. The use of 'Is it clear that...' is inappropriate for an academic report; instead, use an overview statement such as 'Overall, it is clear that...' or 'It is evident that...'. Additionally, the transition between describing increases and decreases could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that cohesive devices (like 'In contrast' or 'Moreover') are used to link ideas rather than just to list facts.

Lexical Resource

There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'gualification', 'employeers', 'alunmies', 'engeneering') that detract from the professional quality of the report. While you attempt to use varied vocabulary such as 'constituted' and 'represented', there is a lack of precision in word choice. For example, 'another three kind of groups' is awkward; 'the remaining three categories' would be more natural. Aim to expand your range of academic synonyms for 'show', 'increase', and 'decrease' to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'charts provides' should be 'charts provide') and article usage (e.g., 'in engineering company' should be 'in an engineering company'). The sentence structure in the third paragraph is confusing, particularly the phrasing 'educational levels of Ph.D- Science and Ph.D- Art levels, both categories increased...'. Try to practice complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses, to improve the flow and accuracy of your writing.

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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

The two pie charts compare the proportions of graduates with different qualifications in science and art who worked for a particular engineering company in 1980 and 2008. **Overall,** the proportion of employees with Ph.D. qualifications increased in both fields, while the shares of first-degree graduates declined. The percentage of science graduates with a Master’s degree […]

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Band 4+: The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of graduates with different levels of qualifications in science and art working in a specific engineering company between 1980 and 2008.

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