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Band 5+: The pie charts show the pre-tax profits of the 1000 banks between 2007 and 2011.

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Image for topic: The pie charts show the pre-tax profits of the 1000 banks between 2007 and 2011.

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The image illustrates pre-tax profits of the world's 1,000 largest banks in 2007 and 2011, with total profits of $786bn in 2007 and $762bn in 2011. In 2007, the distribution of profits was as follows: 53.9% Western Europe, 26.5% North America, 5.6% Africa, 4.2% Middle East, 2.5% Latin America, 3.4% Central and Eastern Europe (including Russia), and 18.9% Asia Pacific. In 2011, Western Europe accounted for 46.2%, North America's share grew to 23.4%, Africa increased to 4.4%, Middle East rose slightly to 4.2%, Latin America expanded to 5.2%, Central and Eastern Europe (including Russia) reached 3.4%, and Asia Pacific's share was notable at 18.9%. Each segment is expressed in percentage of total profits for both years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts compare percentages of the profits of 100 banks across the continents before taxation between the year 2007 and 2011.

Overall, the western Europe had the highest share of profits in 2007, while in 2011 Asia pacific took the lead. Furthermore, the proportion of the profit of Western Europe banks had dropped significantly in four years gap.

In 2007, the banks of Western Europe had the highest share, constituting 46.2%. This was followed by North America at 26.5%, then Asia pacific, which accounted for 18.9% of the total profit. The proportions in Middle East and Africa, Latin America, and Central and eastern Europe, were 4.2%, 2.5%, and 1.8%, respectively.

Four years later, Western Europe had experienced a substatial fall to 6.2%, while the Asia pacific almost trippled, recording 53.9%. North America on the other hand, saw a marginal decline to 23.2%. Both Middle East and Africa and Latin America had the same proportion of 6.5%, which was a slight increase from the previous shares. Similarly, the proportion of Central and Eastern Europe nearly doubled in 2011, it had risen by 1.6% from 1.8%.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

europe: 6

western: 4

america: 4

banks: 3

pacific: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies in data reporting that obscure the overall trends. While the structure is appropriate, the student has swapped the data points for 2007 and 2011 in several instances (for example, attributing the 2007 percentage of 53.9% to the 2011 figure for Asia Pacific). Additionally, there are contradictions between the overview and the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that data is carefully matched to the correct year and category, and verify that the overview accurately reflects the trends described in the details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, there are significant issues with the logical flow of information. The overview contains a factual contradiction (stating Asia Pacific took the lead in 2011, which contradicts the data provided in the body paragraphs), which disrupts the reader's ability to follow the message. To improve, ensure that the overview accurately summarizes the main trends without introducing conflicting information. Additionally, use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link sentences more smoothly rather than relying on simple transitions like 'Furthermore' or 'Similarly'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'substatial', 'trippled'). There is also an inconsistent use of capitalization for proper nouns like 'Western Europe' and 'Asia Pacific'. While some appropriate terms for change are used (e.g., 'marginal decline', 'substantial fall'), the range is limited. To improve, focus on accuracy in spelling and ensure that proper nouns are consistently capitalized. Aim to use a broader range of synonyms for 'share', 'proportion', and 'accounted for' to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'the western Europe'), prepositional errors, and sentence construction (e.g., the comma splice in the final sentence). There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. To improve, practice using articles correctly with geographical regions and work on sentence boundaries to avoid run-on sentences or comma splices. Increasing the accuracy of complex structures will help elevate the score.

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