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Band 6+: THE PIE CHARTS SHOW THE PROPORTION OF HOLIDAY MAKERS USING 4 DIFFERENT TYPES OF ACCOMMODATIONS IN 3 DIFFERENT YEARS

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The image presents three pie charts for 1988, 1998, and 2008, each displaying the distribution of accommodation types. In 1988: 52% staying with family and friends, 15% hotels, 26% camping, 7% rented apartments. In 1998: 54% staying with family and friends, 22% hotels, 13% camping, 11% rented apartments. In 2008: 44% staying with family and friends, 22% hotels, 12% camping, 22% rented apartments.

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The given pie charts demonstrate proportion vacationers taking rest in one area, but in different residence and in three different decades.

Overall, it is clear that staying with family members and friends was one of the popular accommodation among the tourists, while others types showed fluctuating performance.

To commence with, in 1988 vacation with relatives and friends accounted for the largest proportion. Surprisingly, camping in nature made up only 26%, followed by hotels, which contributed 15%. The least popular lodging in this period were rented apartments at 7%.

By 1998, over the decade there were some notable increases. Staying with family and friends reached a peak at 52%, which contributed for the largest proportion in three given period. Furthermore, rented apartments climbed to 11% and hotels to the 22%. Meanwhile, camping has seen significant decline at 13% over the last decade.

In 2008, accommodation with family and friends decreased to 10% and made up 44%. In contrast, renting houses rose gradually to 22%, while camping decreased slightly to 12%, hotels stayed stable at 22%.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

friends: 4

proportion: 3

family: 3

camping: 3

hotels: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and changes in accommodation preferences over the three years. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, particularly in the final paragraph. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and pay close attention to detail when extracting information from the charts. Also, the report could benefit from a more sophisticated use of language and a wider range of vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the flow could be improved. The organization into paragraphs is logical, but the transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall coherence. For example, in the final paragraph, the connection between the decrease in family/friend stays and the rise in rented houses could be made more explicit.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., "showed fluctuating performance"). Try to use more specific and descriptive language to convey the information more effectively. For instance, instead of 'taking rest,' consider 'holidaymakers' or 'tourists.' Also, be careful with word choice; 'proportion vacationers' should be 'proportion of vacationers.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include incorrect verb tenses ('vacation with relatives and friends accounted'), subject-verb agreement issues ('hotels stay stable'), and incorrect preposition usage ('camping in nature'). There are also issues with article usage ('the popular accommodation'). While the range of structures is present, accuracy needs improvement. Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules will help enhance the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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