Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1984, 1993 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

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The image displays three pie charts detailing new car sales for specific periods. In 1994 April, with a total of 42,900 sales, the breakdown was Sedans 74%, SUVs 7%, and Others 19%. In 2004 April, total sales were 71,000, with proportions of Sedans at 62%, SUVs at 17%, and Others at 21%. In 2013 April, the total sales figure was 85,000, distributed as Sedans 51%, SUVs 17%, and Others 32%.

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The pie charts illustrate the sales distribution of new cars in Australia, including SUVs, Sedans, and other types, in 1984 and over the 20-year period from 1993 to 2013.

Overall, at the beginning of the period, Sedans were the dominant choice, although their sales declined over time. In contrast, sales of other types of vehicles increased significantly. Additionally, the total number of cars sold grew dramatically during this period.

In 1984, the total was 42,900 and the proportion of Sedans was highest, accounting for 74%. While other types of vehicles and SUVs were only 19% and 7%, respectively. However, by 1993, with a total 71,000 and the proportion of Sedans was dramatically dropped to 62% and SUVs, other types gradually grew at 17% and 21%, respectively.

In 2013 the total amount was 85,000 and Sedans declined dramatically to 51%. Whereas, other types increased significantly to 32% and SUVs remained at the same proportion at 17%.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sedans: 5

other: 5

types: 5

total: 4

sales: 3

dramatically: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons. The overall trends are identified, and specific data is included to support the observations. To improve, ensure that the data is completely accurate and that the language is precise. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the transitions between paragraphs. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparisons and trends. For example, phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'By comparison' could enhance coherence. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data to avoid repetition and improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing the data. Terms like 'dominant,' 'declined,' 'increased significantly,' and 'proportion' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and descriptive adjectives. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'dramatically,' explore alternatives such as 'substantially,' 'considerably,' or 'markedly.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is used precisely to reflect the nuances in the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, in the third paragraph, the sentence structure is awkward ('In 1984, the total was 42,900 and the proportion of Sedans was highest, accounting for 74%'). Similarly, the phrasing 'the proportion of Sedans was dramatically dropped to 62%' is not grammatically sound. Focus on using correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and clearer sentence structures. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall accuracy and readability of the report.

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