Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

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Image for topic: The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing cultural and leisure activities that boys and girls participate in. Boys’ activities include basketball 26%, soccer 17%, reading 2%, listening to music 10%, skateboarding 11%, and computer games 34%. Girls’ activities show dancing 27%, gymnastics 11%, reading 21%, listening to music 10%, netball 15%, and computer games 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts provide data about the results of a questionnaire on children’s cultural and leisure activities comparing boys and girls.

Overall, the range of activities are quite different, the only similarity was seen in the figures for listening to music about 10%. The other same activities such as reading and computer games, were differing in participation.

Starting with the data for boys, it is clear that the most popular activity was computer games, at 34%. The less participation among boys was seen in the figures for reading, only 2%. The other percent of participation came to sport activities namely, skateboarding, soccer and basketball.

According to the second chart, the most popular activity among girls was dancing, at 27% and the least popular was listening to music, only 10%. The other popular activitie is reading 21%, by contrast, only 2% of boys were reading. Sport activities are less popular between girls than boys.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

activities: 5

popular: 5

reading: 4

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides a reasonable overview of the data. However, there is room for improvement in terms of detail and organization. To improve, consider including more specific comparisons between the activities of boys and girls, and ensure that all key data points are mentioned. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is functional, but the overview could be more insightful, highlighting the key differences and similarities more explicitly. The body paragraphs are generally organized by chart, but transitions between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from computer games to reading in the boys' activities paragraph feels abrupt. Consider using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow. The final sentence feels disconnected and could be integrated better into the preceding paragraph or expanded upon to provide a more conclusive statement.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choice. For instance, using synonyms for 'popular' and 'activity' could add variety. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there are instances where more specific or descriptive language could be used to convey the information more effectively. For example, instead of 'the other percent of participation came to sport activities,' you could specify 'a significant portion of participation was dedicated to sports such as...' Overall, expanding the range of vocabulary and focusing on precision would improve the lexical resource of the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is generally simple, and while this ensures basic communication, it limits the complexity and sophistication of the writing. There are errors in article usage ('The less participation'), preposition choice ('differing in participation'), and verb tense/agreement ('The other popular activitie is reading'). These errors, while not completely obscuring meaning, do detract from the overall impression of accuracy. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences, passive voice where appropriate) and carefully proofread for grammatical errors.

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