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Band 5+: The table below shows the employment of students from four countries in the UK after their first courses in 2001

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The image shows a table detailing the employment of students from four UK countries after their first courses in 2001: Scotland, England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Scotland's data is 43.6% permanent employment, 20.2% temporary employment, 2.6% overseas employment, totaling 66.4% employment. England's data is 33% permanent employment, 23% temporary employment, 2.3% overseas employment, totaling 58.3% employment. Wales' data is 30% permanent employment, 12.4% temporary employment, 2% overseas employment, totaling 44.3% employment. Northern Ireland's data is 20% permanent employment, 8.6% temporary employment, 5% overseas employment, totaling 33.6% employment.

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The table illustrates first degree graduates from Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland universities in four permanent, temporary, overseas and total employment in 2001.

Overall, permanent employment showed a higher percentage, while overseas employment was the smallest among 3 other occupations. Temporary occupation showed different percentages among 4 cities.

In Scotland, permanent employment had the highest percentage 43.6%, while in England it was almost a third 33%. In Wales and Norther Ireland it had a 10% difference, 30% and 20%. Temporary work in England and Scotland showed more than in Wales, Nothern Ireland. 23% and 20.2%, 12.4% and 8.6%, respectively.

Nothern Ireland had the largest quantity (5%) among other countries in overseas employment. In Wales it had 0.3% more than Scotland, 2.6% and 2.3%, while England had the smallest percentage 2.3%. Total employment accounted for different indicators like Scotland had 66.4%, England made up 58.3% and Wales accounted for 45.3%, the lowest indicator in the group was in Northern Ireland – 33.6%.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 6

scotland: 5

england: 5

wales: 5

ireland: 5

permanent: 3

temporary: 3

overseas: 3

showed: 3

percentage: 3

while: 3

among: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the table. The overview is acceptable, and the main features are generally identified. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., Wales' total employment is stated as 45.3% instead of 44.3%), and the language could be more precise and varied. To improve, ensure all data is accurately transcribed and aim for a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The organization into paragraphs is present, but the transitions between ideas within paragraphs sometimes feel abrupt. To enhance coherence, consider using transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. For example, words like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' 'furthermore,' or 'however' can help to guide the reader through the comparisons and contrasts you are making. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to that central idea.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the task, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' you could vary the language with terms like 'proportion,' 'rate,' or 'share.' Additionally, consider using more specific vocabulary related to employment and statistics to demonstrate a greater command of the English language. While the vocabulary is adequate for conveying the main points, refining word choices can elevate the overall quality of the report. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues impact the clarity and accuracy of the writing. There are instances of incorrect verb tense usage, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing that need attention. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report and pay attention to common errors. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures to express ideas clearly and effectively. Review grammar rules related to verb tenses, articles, and prepositions to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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