Table

Band 4+: The table below shows the percentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one town in 1990, 2000, and 2010. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the percentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one town in 1990, 2000, and 2010. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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The image is a table detailing the percentage of working men and women across four employment types for the years 1990, 2000, and 2010. For men in Retail/Shops, the percentages were 13, 13, and 13 respectively; in Health, they were 7, 7, and 9; in Manufacturing, they were 30, 15, and 10; and in Tourism, they were 13, 10, and 10. For women in Retail/Shops, the percentages were 7, 8, and 9 for 1990, 2000, and 2010; in Health, they were 9, 11, and 15; in Manufacturing, they were 7, 8, and 3; and in Tourism, they were 23, 25, and 27.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Table presents the percentage of men and women employed in diffirent aspects of industries.

Firstly the tittle elucidate “Percentage of working men and women”, was written by type of employment:retail/shops, health, manifacturing, tourism and also written ages since 1990 and adds 10 years second time.The biggest number in table is, 27 of women’s tourism compared to the smallest number, 3 in manifacturing.

While the retail/shops and health haven’t changed so much.The health is increased like 9 in 2010 and retail/shops grows 1 number over decades.

Secondly men have diffirens than women in retail/shops due to no changes.Health have changed only in 2010, manifacturing and tourism factors have fallen in 2010.

To sum up there some increase and decrease in both areas but mostly decreased or not changed at all is men while women is more appreciated in other employments such as tourism and manifacturing.

Word Count: 144

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourism: 4

women: 3

health: 3

manifacturing: 3

number: 3

retail/shops: 3

changed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes some irrelevant and inaccurate information, which detracts from the overall task achievement. The organization is not very clear, and the analysis lacks depth. To improve, focus on providing a more structured overview, highlighting key trends and making more specific comparisons between the data for men and women across the different industries and years. Also, ensure that the data cited is accurate and relevant to the points being made. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The ideas are not well-organized, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The introduction is present but does not effectively summarize the table's content. The body paragraphs jump between different aspects without a clear focus, and the conclusion is vague and doesn't provide a strong summary of the main trends. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing the information into logical paragraphs, using clear topic sentences, and employing cohesive devices to link ideas together.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'diffirent aspects of industries' could be more specific. The vocabulary used is generally basic and lacks sophistication. To improve lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to employment trends and industry sectors. Focus on using more precise and descriptive language to convey the information accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in punctuation. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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