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Band 4+: The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006

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The image shows a table with the percentages of working men and women in different employment areas for the years 1986, 1996, and 2006. For men in catering: 1986-1%, 1996-4%, 2006-7%; banking: 1986-11%, 1996-12%, 2006-16%; manufacturing industry: 1986-32%, 1996-27%, 2006-22%; education: 1986-13%, 1996-14%, 2006-17%. For women in catering: 1986-12%, 1996-15%, 2006-11%; banking: 1986-9%, 1996-10%, 2006-12%; manufacturing industry: 1986-8%, 1996-8%, 2006-6%; education: 1986-30%, 1996-35%, 2006-38%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given table compares the proportion of genders engaging in four diffirent types of jobs namely catering,banking,manufacturing industry and education during a 20-year period from 1986 to 2006.

Overall,catering,banking and education recorded an increase in both genders while manufacturing experienced a downward trend was evident for manufacturing.In addition,the female surpassed males in banking and education.

Looking first the education sector that expended,males increase from 13% in 1986 to 14% in 1996,finally 15% in 2006.Meawhile, the percentage of female employeers rose slightly to 35% in 1996 before peaked at 38% in 2006, making it one of faster-growing sectors. Aditionally, catering witness a quite similar trend , but its percent was unchanged , no increase.

Word Count: 113

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 3

increase: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing genders across sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: the data for catering is incomplete and incorrectly stated, and the banking sector is not described in detail. The overall trend for manufacturing is mentioned but not fully supported with specific figures. To improve, ensure all sectors are covered with accurate data and provide a clearer structure with specific examples. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction and an overview, but the flow is disrupted by unclear phrasing and abrupt transitions. The overview is somewhat confusing due to the phrasing 'downward trend was evident for manufacturing' and the mention of 'female surpassed males' without clear context. The body paragraph lacks clear organization and does not effectively group information. Use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect, such as comparing sectors or trends over time. Additionally, use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and avoid repetition.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'diffirent', 'expended' instead of 'expanded', 'employeers' instead of 'employees', 'witness' instead of 'witnessed'). There is some attempt at using a range of vocabulary, but it is not always accurate or natural. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, such as 'experienced growth', 'saw a rise', 'remained stable', and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Also, avoid informal or incorrect phrases like 'quite similar trend' and 'no increase'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, 'the female surpassed males' should be 'females surpassed males', and 'before peaked' should be 'before peaking'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. The range of grammatical structures is limited, with mostly simple sentences. To improve, use a variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses and conditional sentences, and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms. Proofread to eliminate errors in punctuation and spelling.

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