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Band 7+: The table below shows the salaries of secondary/ high school teachers in 2009. Describe the main features of the figure.

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The image displays a table of secondary/high school teacher salaries in 2009, showing starting salary, salary after 15 years, maximum salary, and the years to reach top salary for five countries. For Australia, the figures are 28,000, 48,000, 48,000, and 9 years, respectively. Denmark's data is 45,000, 54,000, 54,000, and 8 years. Luxembourg's salaries are 80,000, 119,000, and 132,000, taking 30 years to reach the maximum. Japan shows salaries of 34,000, 65,000, and 86,000, requiring 37 years. Korea's figures are 30,000, 48,000, and 62,000, achieved over 34 years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart compares the wages of junior and senior high school teachers between five countries in 2009.

Overall, Luxembourg offered the greatest amount of both starting and maximum salaries while the opposite could be said for Australia. In terms of years requiring to reach top salary, Japan expressed the longest period while Denmark showed the shortest years.

In 2009, the secondary school teachers in Luxembourg recieved $80,000 at the start of their career. After 15 years, their salaries would be increased up to $119,000. However, the high school teachers in Australia earned relatively low wages compared to those in Luxembourg, with starting income of only $28,000, rising to $48,000 after 15 years of experience. Other nations mentioned in the table offered mediocre salaries to their teachers both in the beginning and after 15 years into the carrer.

Despite Luxembourg’s teachers had the opportunity to reach maximum salary of $132,000, they still required 30 years job experience. Those in Japan also needed 37 years to attain maximum payment of $86,000. However in Denmark and Australia, only 8 and 9 years were required for the teachers to obtain their top salaries.

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 7

teachers: 6

salaries: 4

their: 4

school: 3

luxembourg: 3

maximum: 3

australia: 3

after: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and comparing the data across the different countries. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the highest and lowest values. The body paragraphs are well-organized, grouping information logically. To improve, ensure that all data points are used effectively; for instance, while the comparison between Luxembourg and Australia is strong, the mention of 'other nations' having 'mediocre salaries' is somewhat vague and could be replaced with more specific comparisons to enhance the depth of the analysis. Additionally, minor grammatical refinements regarding sentence structure would polish the overall delivery.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. However, some cohesive devices and transitions could be more sophisticated. For instance, the transition between the discussion of salaries and the discussion of years to reach the maximum salary could be smoother. Ensure that the relationship between sentences is clearly established to avoid a slightly fragmented feel in the latter half of the report.

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary to describe the data, such as 'attain', 'offered', and 'relatively low'. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'Japan expressed the longest period' is not quite natural; 'Japan recorded' or 'Japan had' would be more appropriate. Additionally, the word 'mediocre' carries a negative connotation that might not be suitable for a neutral academic report. Aim for more objective descriptors like 'moderate' or 'intermediate'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that impact the flow. Specifically, the phrase 'Despite Luxembourg's teachers had the opportunity' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'Despite the fact that...' or 'Despite having...'. There are also minor spelling errors (e.g., 'recieved' instead of 'received' and 'carrer' instead of 'career'). Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of subordinating conjunctions to improve accuracy.

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