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Band 5+: the table below shows the usual method of travel to work for people in Sydney and Adelaide in 2011 and 2016

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The image presents a table detailing the usual method of travel to work for people in Sydney and Adelaide in 2011 and 2016. For Sydney in 2011, the percentages for travel methods were: Car 62%, Train 16%, Bus 9%, Bicycle 5%, Walking 6%, and Other 2%. In 2016 for Sydney, the figures were: Car 58%, Train 19%, Bus 11%, Bicycle 6%, Walking 4%, and Other 2%. For Adelaide in 2011, the data was: Car 69%, Train 7%, Bus 6%, Bicycle 3%, Walking 8%, and Other 7%. In 2016 for Adelaide, the percentages were: Car 64%, Train 9%, Bus 8%, Bicycle 4%, Walking 6%, and Other 9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table illustrates the basic method of travel to job for individuals in Sydney and Adelaide in 2011 and 2016.

Overall, utilizing the train, bus, and bicycle increased in the both countries. In contrast, using a car and by foot are presented a decline movement. While other transport methods is used a remained stable, in Sydney, whereas its a increased slightly, in Adelaide.

On the one hand, the car methods decreased slighly from 62% to 58%, making it largest share categories in Sydney 2016. Likewise, In Adelaide car methods dropped from 69% to 64%. In stark contrast, the figure for walking declined by two per cent points.

On the other hand, both cities presented an increasing trend for 1-3% on utilizing the bus,train, and bicycle. Furthermore, citizens in Sydney used other methods remained stable throughout the period, whereas in Adelaide’s people rose to 2%, from 7% in 2011 to 9% at the end of the period.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sydney: 4

methods: 4

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and presents an overall trend, but it contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The overall trend is correctly identified, and the main changes are described. However, there are minor data errors (e.g., '1-3%' increase for bus, train, and bicycle is not precise; the walking decline is not specified for each city). The language is somewhat informal and contains grammatical errors (e.g., 'in the both countries', 'is used a remained stable', 'its a increased slightly'). To improve, ensure accurate data representation and use more formal, precise language. Also, avoid vague phrases like '1-3%' and specify exact figures where possible.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but there are some lapses in coherence and cohesion. The overview is somewhat unclear and contains inaccuracies in phrasing (e.g., 'in the both countries' and 'is used a remained stable'), which may confuse the reader. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward (e.g., 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used inappropriately, as the ideas are not contrasting). To improve, ensure that the overview clearly summarizes the main trends without introducing specific data, and use cohesive devices more accurately to link ideas. Also, avoid vague references like 'its a increased slightly' and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'utilizing', 'decline movement', 'in stark contrast', 'presented an increasing trend'), but there are several lexical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'basic method of travel to job' should be 'main method of travel to work', and 'by foot' is less natural than 'on foot'. The phrase 'decline movement' is not idiomatic; 'downward trend' would be better. Additionally, 'per cent points' should be 'percentage points'. To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations, and avoid direct translations or literal phrases. Expand your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors that affect the overall accuracy and clarity. There are subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'other transport methods is used' should be 'other transport methods were used'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'is used a remained stable' should be 'remained stable'), and article misuse (e.g., 'the both countries' should be 'both countries'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect spacing (e.g., 'bus,train'). The sentence 'In stark contrast, the figure for walking declined by two per cent points.' is incomplete and lacks context. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and verb tenses, and proofread carefully to eliminate errors. Using a wider range of complex structures with accuracy will also help.

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