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Band 4+: The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows a table comparing department and online stores in four categories: number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, and growth; department stores have 67 businesses, 807 million AUD profit, 12,700 million AUD sales revenue, and 0.4% growth, while online stores have 368 businesses, 863 million AUD profit, 13,400 million AUD sales revenue, and 0.6% growth.

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The table demonstrates data about department stores and online stores Australia in 2011.

In general, it can be seen that online stores were generally the more popular stores and outperformed department stores in almost all measures.

More specifically, in terms of statistics at online stores, numbers of businesses were 368 and it was higher figure than department stores numbers of businesses 67. Profit (AUD dollars) was the same higher with 863, it was slightly same with department stores 807.

Department stores’ sales revenue (AUD dollars) were 12,700 which was lower figure than online stores sales revenue 13,400. Growth rated slightly in both stores department and online, with just 0,4% and 0,6% in turn

Word Count: 113

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stores: 10

department: 5

online: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, presenting the main features of the data and making some comparisons. However, there are some areas for improvement. The language could be more precise and varied, and the structure could be more cohesive. For example, the report could benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion, and the data could be presented in a more logical order. Additionally, while the report identifies the main trends, it could provide more specific details and support them with relevant data from the table. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents some relevant information from the table, but the organization and flow of ideas could be improved. The writing lacks clear transitions between sentences and ideas, making it difficult to follow the comparisons being made. Paragraphing is present but not effectively used to group related information. Consider using more cohesive devices and structuring the report with a clearer focus on comparing and contrasting the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, using 'higher' and 'same' repeatedly weakens the impact of the comparisons. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express the data more accurately and effectively. Focus on using more specific terms related to business and finance. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. For example, the sentence 'Profit (AUD dollars) was the same higher with 863, it was slightly same with department stores 807' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules and sentence construction.

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