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Band 4+: the take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words

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Image for topic: the take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words

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The image contains a table with data on underground railway systems in six cities: London (Date opened: 1863, Kilometers of route: 394, Passengers per year: 775 million), Paris (Date opened: 1900, Kilometers of route: 199, Passengers per year: 1191 million), Tokyo (Date opened: 1927, Kilometers of route: 155, Passengers per year: 1927 million), Washington DC (Date opened: 1976, Kilometers of route: 126, Passengers per year: 144 million), Kyoto (Date opened: 1981, Kilometers of route: 11, Passengers per year: 45 million), Los Angeles (Date opened: 2001, Kilometers of route: 28, Passengers per year: 50 million).

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In the last 2 decades the world knew an improvement in the railway system. As we see in 1863 in London was the first railway withe long to 394 km and a 775 million passenger per year.then it comes Paris in 1900 with 199 km and 1.1 billion passenger per year

After 27 years Tokyo railway system was lunched with 155 km

And a 1.9 billion passenger , breaking all the nembers of all the 6 station. In 1976 in Washington DC the railway system started in 1976 with a 126 km and 144 milion passenger per year, then comes after it los Angeles railway in 2001 with 28 km and 50 milion passenger per year thous was the firs rail way system on America.

In the last and the smallest railway was ever mad . The Kyoto railway in 1981 with 11 km and 45 milion passenger per year.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

railway: 7

passenger: 6

system: 4

milion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information more logically (e.g., by date or passenger numbers), and using more precise language. Proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to summarize the information but suffers from a lack of clear organization and transitions. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively group related information. Using more cohesive devices (e.g., 'similarly', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') would improve the flow and readability. Consider grouping cities based on common characteristics (e.g., age of the system, passenger numbers) to create a more coherent narrative.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of informal language ('then it comes') and imprecise word choices ('breaking all the nembers'). Expanding your vocabulary and using more specific terms would enhance the report. For example, instead of 'improvement in the railway system,' consider 'expansion of underground railway networks.' Also, avoid unnecessary repetition of phrases. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofreading carefully for errors before submitting your work is essential. For example, 'withe long to' should be 'with a length of', and 'thous was the firs rail way system on America' should be 'this was the first railway system in America'.

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