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Band 5+: The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

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The image shows three line graphs detailing the value in Australian dollars of Australia's trade with China, Japan, and the United States from 2004 to 2009. For China's trade: Imports start at 20 billion AUD in 2004, rising steadily to approximately 45 billion AUD in 2009; exports start around 15 billion AUD in 2004 and increase sharply to roughly 45 billion AUD in 2009. For Japan's trade: Imports remain relatively stable around 10 billion AUD from 2004 to 2009; exports increase from 30 billion AUD in 2004, peak at 45 billion AUD in 2008, and decrease to about 40 billion AUD in 2009. For the United States' trade: Imports start at approximately 25 billion AUD in 2004, slightly decrease and then stabilize around 20 billion AUD by 2009; exports remain under 15 billion AUD consistently from 2004 to 2009, fluctuating slightly but never crossing this threshold.

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The given three graphs illustrate information about the revenue in Australian dollars of Australian trade with China, Japan, and United States between 2004 and 2009. As an overall trend, the amount of money spent on export and import showed different trends.1

Looking closely at the first chart, it is clear that the number of Australian dollars spent on both imports and exports increased slighly from 2004 to 2007, making up a bit more than 20 billion dollars and just above 10 billion dollars, respectively in 2007. Then, imports budget continued to rise, and showed constant value in the last 1-year period, while the ammount of money expenditured to exports increased dramatically from just above 10 billion dollars to almost 35 billion dollars in 2009.

In the case of trade between Australia and Japan, the budget of imported goods stayed unchanged, composing 20 billion dollars in the whole period of time. While money spent to export fluctuated bu rising up and down.

According to the third picture, the total budget of import and export remained almost constant, accounting for just above than 20 billion dollars and a bit more than 10 billion dollars, respectively between five-year period from 2004 to 2009.

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

dollars: 9

billion: 7

australian: 3

between: 3

money: 3

spent: 3

export: 3

above: 3

budget: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by mentioning all three countries and attempting to describe the trends. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. Some figures provided in the report contradict the visual description (for example, the import value for Japan is stated as 20 billion, whereas the description suggests 10 billion). Additionally, the overview is somewhat vague, and the description of the United States trade lacks detail regarding the distinction between imports and exports. To improve, ensure that the relationship between the data points is clearly articulated and that the specific values mentioned align more closely with the provided trends. Aim to use more precise vocabulary to describe fluctuations and trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure by dedicating a paragraph to each country, which is a good approach. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. The overview is somewhat vague; instead of saying trends 'showed different trends,' it would be more effective to summarize the general direction (e.g., 'China saw significant growth, while trade with the US remained relatively stable'). Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs flow more naturally to guide the reader through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to vary vocabulary (e.g., 'illustrate', 'fluctuated'), but there are several instances of imprecise word choices and repetitive phrasing. For example, using 'budget' to describe trade values is inaccurate in this context; 'value', 'amount', or 'turnover' would be more appropriate. Additionally, terms like 'expenditured' are not standard English. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to data description (e.g., 'trade volume', 'export value') and avoid using 'picture' or 'budget' when referring to statistical data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, preposition usage (e.g., 'spent to export' instead of 'spent on exports'), and article usage. There are also spelling errors such as 'slighly' and 'ammount'. To reach a higher band, work on sentence precision and ensure that complex structures (like relative clauses) are used accurately without losing the grammatical integrity of the sentence.

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