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Band 5+: The two pie chart show how diffrent industries used electricity in 1995 and 2005.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing industry electricity usage percentages for the years 1995 and 2005, detailing five sectors: in 1995, food accounts for 24%, fishery 20%, manufacturing 33%, household 15%, and service 8%; whereas in 2005, food is 21%, fishery 13%, manufacturing 31%, household 20%, and service 15%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts illustrate information about how much electricity spent through five different factories in a country from 1995 to 2005.

Overall, it is clear that the amount of fishery, food, manufacturing experienced significantly decrease, however the proportion of household and service witnessed increase in the given period.

According to 1995, the persentage of manufacturing had the largest proportion with 33% of total. Following by food and fishery production consisted of 24% and 20% respectively. The proportion of household used 15% electricity from total. The amount of service industries had the least proportion, which accounted for 8%.

At 2005, manufacturing industries had the highest pecentage of using electicity with 31%. The figure for household accounter for 20%, which is consumed electricity. The percentage of food production spent on 21% energy of total in 2005. The proportion of service and fishery industries used the lowest amount of electricity with 15% and 13% respectively.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 5

electricity: 4

amount: 3

fishery: 3

manufacturing: 3

household: 3

service: 3

total: 3

industries: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key changes between the two pie charts. There are some minor inaccuracies and omissions, but overall, the response is well-organized and presents the information clearly. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider adding more specific comparisons between the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The overview is present but could be more impactful by directly comparing the most significant changes between the two years. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There's some repetition of words like 'proportion' and 'amount.' Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms to describe quantities and changes. For instance, instead of always using 'proportion,' consider using 'percentage,' 'share,' or 'segment.' Also, aim for more precise vocabulary related to the context of electricity usage and industrial sectors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses ('spent' instead of 'was spent'), subject-verb agreement problems ('amount of fishery, food, manufacturing experienced'), and incorrect article usage ('the persentage'). Sentence structure is often simple and could benefit from more complex constructions to convey information more efficiently. Focus on proofreading carefully for grammatical errors and varying sentence structures to improve accuracy and range.

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