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Band 5+: Why people move to the capital city. Summarise the informations

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The image depicts a line chart showing survey results on reasons for moving to a capital city from 2000 to 2015 with four categories: employment, study, family/friends, adventure; employment: 2000 - 60,000, 2005 - 80,000, 2010 - 80,000, 2015 - 90,000; study: 2000 - 10,000, 2005 - 25,000, 2010 - 40,000, 2015 - 50,000; family/friends: 2000 - 10,000, 2005 - 15,000, 2010 - 20,000, 2015 - 30,000; adventure: 2000 - 1,000, 2005 - 2,000, 2010 - 3,000, 2015 - 3,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the data why people moved from particular country to capital city.

Overall, two survey results became more popular (employment and study), while other two survey result are less popular (family/friends and adventure). As a result, employment and study increased at roughly the same rate.

First of all, the reason for moving that increased in popularity is study, which significantly grew over the period. In 2005, the essential of moving rose from 25,000 to around around 89,000, but in the middle, the figure is hovered. In contrast, employment was also popular why people moved. At the beginning, it was 60,000 people who moved, but over time line graph shows that figure went up to around 87,000 and after that it is gradually decline to around 89,000 and was the same point with study.

Secondly, other two lines are less than employment and study. Family/friends are higher than adventure, but family/friends and adventure began the same rate a=in different years. Family/friends category grew plateaued, from 10,000 to around 22,000, whereas adventure there are no major changes, from 10,000 to nearby 17,000.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

around: 5

people: 3

moved: 3

popular: 3

employment: 3

study: 3

family/friends: 3

adventure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. The description of the trends is generally accurate, but the specific figures mentioned sometimes deviate from the actual values in the graph. The organization is clear with an overview and separate paragraphs for different categories. To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting data and avoid unnecessary repetition. Also, focus on providing a more concise and impactful summary of the key trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information, but the flow is somewhat disjointed. The introduction provides a general overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear transitions and logical connections between ideas. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the paragraphing could be improved to enhance clarity. For instance, the relationship between the trends in different categories could be more explicitly stated. To improve coherence, focus on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and supporting details.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and repetition. For example, phrases like 'essential of moving' and 'why people moved' could be rephrased for greater clarity and accuracy. To enhance lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to trends and comparisons, and practice using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition. Also, pay attention to the correct usage of prepositions and articles.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede the clarity and accuracy of the report. For example, the sentence 'In 2005, the essential of moving rose from 25,000 to around around 89,000' contains multiple errors. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors in your writing.

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