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Band 5+: Why people move to the capital city. Summarise the informations

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The image depicts a line chart showing survey results on reasons for moving to a capital city from 2000 to 2015 with four categories: employment, study, family/friends, adventure; employment: 2000 - 60,000, 2005 - 80,000, 2010 - 80,000, 2015 - 90,000; study: 2000 - 10,000, 2005 - 25,000, 2010 - 40,000, 2015 - 50,000; family/friends: 2000 - 10,000, 2005 - 15,000, 2010 - 20,000, 2015 - 30,000; adventure: 2000 - 1,000, 2005 - 2,000, 2010 - 3,000, 2015 - 3,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart illustrates the results of a survey which is giving the reasons that why most people are been moved to the capital of a particular country.

Overall, it can be seen in the line graph that most of the time peopel concentrates on mainly three things such as employment, study and family/ friend not on adventures things and these all are from 2000 till 2015 .

On the one hand, the employment rate was started form 60,000 in 2000 and after its high and lows people moved immediately from 60,000 to 90,000. The study plan also goes higher from 2000 till 2015 almost up to 90,000.

On the other hand, the adventures things has been down from 2000 till 2015 there were no one who moved for adventures at that level. Secondly, the chart can gives us information that the family / friends are mostly likely to be not movedable persons .

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

moved: 3

things: 3

adventures: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The language is not always precise, and there are some grammatical errors. To improve, focus on providing more specific data and using more accurate language to describe the trends. Also, ensure that your grammar is accurate and that your sentences are clear and concise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The introduction and overall statement are present but lack precision. The body paragraphs attempt to group information but suffer from a lack of clear transitions and logical connections between ideas. To improve coherence, use more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the data. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the chart and that the sentences within each paragraph build upon each other logically. For instance, when discussing employment, you could compare its growth rate to that of study to highlight the differences more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to effectively describe the trends and data in the chart. There is a reliance on simple words and phrases, which limits the depth of the analysis. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'increased steadily,' 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable'), and use more specific terms to describe the reasons for moving (e.g., 'career prospects' instead of just 'employment'). Also, avoid informal language and aim for a more academic tone. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency ('was started form'), subject-verb agreement ('people concentrates'), and article usage ('the adventures things'). Sentence structure is also often awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work, paying attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice constructing more complex sentences to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures, but ensure they are accurate and easy to understand.

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