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Letter

Band 5+: write a letter to the manager suggest your ideas ( 120-150 words should be )

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Store Manager

Thank you for your letter. Recently I visited to your new opened store which sells art items. Totally I enjoy buying and using products and I can easily say that their quality is super and price is costly that everyone can buy. Also your staff members were well mannered

As you asked, I have some suggestions that would be profitable to enhance your business. Firstly you should change the exterior and interior of your store and after this the number of customers would increase. Moreover you also should add more products to your art store as there are a lot of people who want to buy these products.

Thank you again for your letter and considering our opinions about your shop. We truly appreciate your effort done by.

Yours Faithfully. Abdusalomova Fotima

Word Count: 135

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Overall Band Score

5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
store: 4
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The letter addresses the task by providing suggestions to the store manager. The suggestions are relevant and generally clear. To improve, ensure that the suggestions are more specific and elaborated upon to demonstrate a deeper understanding of how they would benefit the business. For example, instead of just saying 'change the exterior and interior,' explain what kind of changes you envision and why they would attract more customers. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your suggestions and ensure a smoother progression from one point to the next. For example, you could use phrases like 'In addition to this' or 'Furthermore' to link your ideas more effectively. Also, the conclusion feels a bit abrupt; try to summarize your main points briefly before closing.

Lexical Resource

5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of saying 'price is costly that everyone can buy,' you could rephrase it to 'the prices are accessible to a wide range of customers.' Try to incorporate more specific and descriptive words related to art supplies and customer experience to enhance the letter's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'Recently I visited to your new opened store' should be 'Recently, I visited your newly opened store.' Pay close attention to prepositions, articles, and verb tenses. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors. Also, work on varying your sentence structures to improve the overall flow and readability.

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