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Band 5+: Writing task 1 The line graph illustrates the amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams per person per week

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The image shows a line graph titled "Consumption of Spreads" from 1981 to 2007, detailing usage in grams for Margarine, Low fat & reduced spreads, and Butter. Margarine begins at 90g in 1981, fluctuates slightly around 80g to 100g until 1991, decreases steadily to about 40g by 2007. Butter starts at 140g in 1981, drops to around 70g in 1986, maintains approximately 50g in 1991, then falls gradually to 50g in 2007. Low fat & reduced spreads appear in 1996 at 10g, peaks at around 80g shortly after, and decreases to 70g by 2007.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart depicts the amount of Margarine, Low fat & reduced spreads and Butter spreads used between 1981 and 2007, in grams per individual within a week.

Generally, it is clear from the line chart that Margarine and Butter spreads consumption decreased from 1981 to 2007 while that of Low fat & reduced spreads consumption increased between 1996 and 2007.

From the chart, the use of Margarine started in 1981 measuring about 90 grams,it saw a considerable decreased to approximately 80grams in 1985,rose again to almost 100 grams in 1991 and became constant in 1996 experienced a significant decreased from 2001 until it merged with Butter in 2007 recording almost 40 grams . Comparatively, Butter spreads consumption began in the in the year 1991 recording a little over 140 grams, it saw a peak in 1986 of about 160 grams then decreased dramatically to merged with Butter in 1991 measuring approximately 100 grams. It further decreased substancially to merged with Low fat and reduced spreads in 2001 hiting approximately 60 grams. Again it declined sharply to merged with Butter in 2007 constituting around 50 grams.

In constant, unlike Margarine and Butter that started in 1981,Low fat& reduced spreads came in 1996 recording around 10 grams . Additionally, it witness a high of a little over 80 grams and then went up steadly in 2007 representing around 70 grams.

Word Count: 229

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

grams: 10

spreads: 7

butter: 7

decreased: 5

margarine: 4

reduced: 4

merged: 4

chart: 3

consumption: 3

approximately: 3

recording: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview of the main trends, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data. For example, the description of Butter's starting year and values is incorrect, and the phrase 'merged with' is used inappropriately. The report also includes some irrelevant or confusing details, such as the mention of 'peak in 1986' for Butter, which is not supported by the visual description. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data, using precise language, and ensuring that all statements are clearly linked to the graph. Additionally, avoid repetition and ensure that the report is well-organized and coherent.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by several issues. The overview is somewhat vague and could be more precise. In the body paragraphs, the sequence of data points is not always logical, and there are abrupt transitions (e.g., 'it saw a peak in 1986' after mentioning 1991). The use of 'in constant' instead of 'in contrast' and the repetition of 'merged with' cause confusion. To improve, use clear topic sentences, ensure chronological order, and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently') to link ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'decreased', 'increased', 'peak', 'dramatically'), but there are inaccuracies and repetitions. For example, 'considerable decreased' should be 'considerable decrease', and 'substancially' and 'hiting' are misspelled. The phrase 'merged with' is used incorrectly and repeatedly, which is not suitable for describing data trends. To improve, use a wider range of precise verbs (e.g., 'plummeted', 'surged', 'stabilized') and ensure correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include missing commas (e.g., '90 grams,it saw'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'decreased' as a noun), and subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'it witness'). There are also awkward phrasings like 'began in the in the year' and 'to merged with'. To improve, proofread for punctuation, use correct verb tenses, and ensure subject-verb agreement. Practicing complex sentences with accurate grammar will enhance the overall quality.

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