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Band 6+: Writing task 1 The line graph illustrates the amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams per person per week

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The image shows a line graph titled "Consumption of Spreads" from 1981 to 2007, detailing usage in grams for Margarine, Low fat & reduced spreads, and Butter. Margarine begins at 90g in 1981, fluctuates slightly around 80g to 100g until 1991, decreases steadily to about 40g by 2007. Butter starts at 140g in 1981, drops to around 70g in 1986, maintains approximately 50g in 1991, then falls gradually to 50g in 2007. Low fat & reduced spreads appear in 1996 at 10g, peaks at around 80g shortly after, and decreases to 70g by 2007.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph above gives information about three types of spreads – butter, margarine, and low fat/reduced-fat spreads – consumed between 1981 and 2007, measured in grams.

Overall, although butter was the most widely consumed spread at the beginning of the period it was eventually overtaken by low-fat and reduced-fat spreads. The consumption of margarine and butter fell considerably, whereas low-fat and reduced-fat spreads experienced rapid growth.

In contrast, butter was consumed widely about 142 grams in 1981,while this figure for margarine was at 90. The consumption of butter rose significantly reaching the peak of just below 160 grams in the next 5-year period, before falling to 50 grams in 2007 and this was followed by an enormous reduction.

In the first 5-years, margarine consumption declined moderately to 90 grams. Until 1996, it maintained the same level after facing a gradual growth to 100 grams. At the end of the period, this figure reduced considerably to 40 grams.

Even though low-fat and reduced-fat spreads were introduced in 1996 and at that time they were at approximately 10 grams, they showed a sharply upward trend to about 83 grams in 2001. Finally, in 2007 the figure for them was dominant at 70 grams following with a noticeable decrease.

Word Count: 207

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

grams: 8

spreads: 5

butter: 5

margarine: 4

about: 3

consumed: 3

period: 3

low-fat: 3

reduced-fat: 3

consumption: 3

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key data points, but there are some omissions and inaccuracies. The overall structure is clear with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each spread. To improve, ensure all significant data points are accurately represented and avoid minor inaccuracies. Also, try to make better use of comparative language to highlight the relationships between the different spreads.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, some transitions could be smoother to improve the flow. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between the initial high consumption of butter and its subsequent decline could be more explicitly linked. Consider using cohesive devices like 'subsequently' or 'thereafter' to enhance the logical progression of ideas. Also, avoid starting sentences with 'In contrast' or 'Even though' without a clear reference to the previous sentence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to describing trends and quantities. Terms like 'considerably,' 'moderately,' 'sharply upward trend,' and 'dominant' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms for common words like 'consumption,' 'fell,' and 'growth.' For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'consumption,' you could use 'usage' or 'intake.' Also, try to use more precise language to describe the quantities. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, in the third paragraph, 'In contrast, butter was consumed widely about 142 grams in 1981,while this figure for margarine was at 90' could be improved for better flow and accuracy. It should be 'In 1981, butter consumption was about 142 grams, while the figure for margarine was 90 grams'. Also, in the last paragraph, the phrase 'following with a noticeable decrease' is awkward and could be rephrased as 'followed by a noticeable decrease'. Pay close attention to sentence structure and word order to ensure grammatical accuracy.

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