Letter

Band 7+: You are planning a surprise birthday party for a close friend. You need to request the use of the community hall in your neighborhood. Write a letter to the community hall manager to request permission to use the hall. You should include: - the date and time you would like to book the hall - the number of guests you expect - the reason for the event and why this venue is suitable.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you regarding the possible use of your the community hall for a party I intend on hosting for a dear friend of mine.

My friend is turning 30 years of age and he has not had his birthday celebrated since he was about 18 years due to the fact that he is an orphan and has been on his own since attaining the legal age of 18. I believe a celebration is long overdue and as is friend, I would like to make that possible.

His birthday falls on the 18th of march, which would be the date the hall would be required and although I intend for the event to start by 5pm, I would need access to the hall by 8am in the morning so as to decorate adequately.

This birthday celebration would have atleast a hundred people in attendance so I would like to enquire if the hall has air conditioners available and also proper lightning given the fact that we would begin in the evening towards the night.

That being said, how much would the hall cost to rent for the day so as to properly budget for the event?

I await your kind response.

Yours Faithfully.

Falade Temitope.

Word Count: 211

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 8

friend: 3

birthday: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter fully satisfies the requirements of the task. All three bullet points are comprehensively addressed with relevant details. The purpose of the letter is clearly stated, the requested date and time are specific, and inquiries about facilities and rental costs are appropriately made. The tone is consistently polite and formal, suitable for the context. The letter is well-organized and easy to understand, demonstrating excellent overall quality.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear. The progression of ideas is logical. However, there are a few areas where coherence could be improved. For instance, in the second paragraph, the explanation of why the friend hasn't celebrated his birthday could be more concise. Also, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for the task. Phrases like 'dear friend of mine,' 'attaining the legal age,' and 'celebration is long overdue' are effective. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider using more varied and specific vocabulary related to event planning and hall facilities. For example, instead of 'decorate adequately,' you could specify the type of decorations or preparations you intend to make.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few minor errors, such as the use of 'your the community hall' and some awkward phrasing like 'as is friend.' Correcting these small errors and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement will improve the overall grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to articles (a, an, the) and prepositions to refine your writing further.

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