Letter

Band 7+: You are planning a weekend trip with a group of colleagues and need to coordinate travel and accommodation. Write a letter to your colleagues proposing arrangements for the trip. You should include details about: - Where you suggest going and why - Possible dates for the trip and travel options - Suggestions for accommodation and activities.

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Dear colleagues,

Hope you all are doing splendidly! I’m writing to share the details of excursion which I have been planning for the last month. As the work in our office is quite overwhelming, leading more stress and burden on us. Due to this reason, I’ve planned a weekend getaway. I’ve choosen Manali, Himachal Pradesh because right now in Punjab, its boiling temperature outside, whereas Manali, the atmosphere is quite cozy and cool. The tentative date for this trip will be May 24.

Talking about transportation, initially I thought that train would be a better option because it is budget friendly, however, I’ve changed this idea because we’ll have only 3 days to enjoy, so travelling by train would be bit longer. Therefore, I’ve booked airplane tickets. Although it would be expensive, we can enjoy and see the serene view in detail. I also want to show the estimated cost of this trip, including train tickets, accommodation and food, the total cost will be 1 lakh rupees.

Furthermore, I’ve checked the various popular places of Manali through internet. I’m extremely delighted to share that we can visit the famous castle of Manali. On top of that, we can also experience some adventurous activities there, like river rafting and paragliding. I’m on top the world right now! This is all about the trip which I’ve organised for all of us. If anyone wants to give suggestions, let me know as soon as possible.

Write back soon!

Love and best regards,

Komal

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

manali: 4

because: 3

train: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, providing details about the destination, dates, transportation, and potential activities. However, there are some areas where it could be improved. The tone is a bit too informal for a letter to colleagues; a more professional tone would be more appropriate. Additionally, some of the language is slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on maintaining a professional tone and using more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized, but some transitions could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the weather in Punjab to choosing Manali could be more directly linked. Also, the flow of ideas in the second paragraph could be improved by clearly stating the reason for choosing air travel before mentioning the initial thought of train travel. To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that transitions between paragraphs are logical and clear.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate and generally appropriate, but there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of saying 'doing splendidly,' consider a more professional greeting like 'I hope this letter finds you well.' Phrases like 'boiling temperature' and 'on top the world' are somewhat informal and could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives. To improve lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more formal expressions where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, 'I've choosen' should be 'I've chosen,' and 'right now in Punjab, its boiling temperature outside, whereas Manali, the atmosphere is quite cozy and cool' could be restructured for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure to enhance grammatical accuracy. Reviewing and correcting these errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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