Letter

Band 6+: You are planning to organize a community event in your neighborhood, and you need support from the local council. Write a letter to the council. In your letter: - describe the event you are planning - explain why you think it would benefit the community - request specific support or resources from the council

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Dear Council,

I am writing you about the renomate “All Week In Fest” that our city promote and hosts every second week of June, from almost 10 years now.

With your permission, I was thinking to take in charge the complete organization of the event and make some changes.

As you knows, the local community, every year at the end of the festival, report as a major problem the lack of parking spaces (who are occupied by tourists and other people coming from nearby towns) for the locals, so I would like to propose a new spot: the Nancy Park, which not only is it the perfect place to host an event as important as this, but it also have a specific clause that allows entry only to the local community, making possible to the event to be “exclusive” and, at the same time, “inclusive” towards our community.

Don’t worry! “All Week In Fest” will starts at 7:00 pm and will ends at midnight as usual, the only thing that will change is the place (and MAYBE, just MAYBE, we could also select 5 people to performe and play live music during the festival nights, directly from the residents of our community, improving the power of arts.

In conclusion, by hoping you’ll consider my proposal and reach me out for the details, I have one final question: “What requirements do I need to fulfill to be given permission?”.

Let me know, I’m here waiting enthusiastic to make this project with you!

Best Regards, Alfred

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

event: 3

community: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by providing details of the event, explaining its benefits, and asking about requirements for permission. There are some minor issues with tone and clarity, but overall, the letter is well-written and fulfills the task. To improve, focus on maintaining a consistently formal tone and ensuring clarity in your explanations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is a bit vague; it would be better to directly state the purpose of the letter (requesting permission to use Nancy Park for the 'All Week In Fest'). The flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed in places. For example, the parking issue is introduced abruptly. Try to create smoother transitions between ideas. The conclusion is a bit informal ('Let me know, I'm here waiting enthusiastic...'). A more formal closing would be more appropriate.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate, with some good word choices ('renomate,' 'exclusive,' 'inclusive'). However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or natural. For example, 'take in charge' could be replaced with 'oversee' or 'manage.' Also, be careful with the spelling of words like 'perform' (misspelled as 'performe').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('I am writing you about the renomate...'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward phrasing ('report as a major problem the lack of parking spaces'). Pay close attention to sentence structure and verb tenses. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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