Letter

Band 6+: You are studying at a college which has very limited sports and leisure facilities for students. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter: Outline the situation Propose ways to improve this situation Request a meeting to discuss this

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I hope this email finds you well. I am a second-year Business Administration student, and I am writing to propose to establish more fitness and entertainment facilities in our campus.

Some of my friends in different departments are currently struggling to find exercise places. Because of lack on-campus sports facilities, we have to use external gym; however, the nearest workout spot is 600 meters away from the college. That means we have to walk back and forth over a kilometers every day, which is quite inconvenient. Furthermore, lack of exercise can negatively impact both our academic performance and our mental health.

Give the situation above, I would appreciate if the college considers opening a new gym at the north campus, as the place is vacant. Moreover, I would love to setup a brief meeting with the chief to discuss this problem further. Please let me know your availability.

Thanks for your attenttion to this matter and I look forward to your response.

Yours faithfully,

Jennie.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses all three requirements of the task: it outlines the current problem (distance to gyms and impact on health), proposes a solution (using the vacant north campus), and requests a meeting. The tone is appropriate for a letter to a principal. To improve and reach a higher score, ensure greater grammatical precision (e.g., 'due to the lack of' instead of 'because of lack', and 'Given the situation' instead of 'Give the situation') and refine word choices to sound more formal (e.g., 'discuss this matter' instead of 'discuss this problem'). Additionally, expanding slightly more on the 'leisure' aspect mentioned in the prompt would ensure a more comprehensive response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical structure, addressing all three bullet points from the task. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the phrase 'Give the situation above' is an incorrect way to transition; 'Given the situation described above' would be more appropriate. Additionally, while the paragraphing is clear, the connection between the inconvenience of walking and the impact on mental health could be more fluidly linked to the overall argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is functional and appropriate for the task, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'propose to establish' (better: 'propose the establishment of') and 'use external gym' (should be 'use an external gym'). Using more varied synonyms for 'facilities' or 'problem' would enhance the lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the professional tone of the letter. Issues include article usage ('a kilometers', 'lack of on-campus sports facilities'), preposition errors ('lack on-campus' instead of 'lack of'), and spelling mistakes ('attenttion'). To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of singular/plural nouns, and ensuring that complex sentence structures are used accurately without losing control of the grammar.

Band 6+: You are studying at a college which has very limited sports and leisure facilities for students. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter: Outline the situation Propose ways to improve this situation Request a meeting to discuss this

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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