Letter

Band 5+: You have recently accepted a job offer at a new company and are due to start next month. You have read the company's dress code policy and need to clarify something regarding your cultural attire. Write a letter to the HR Manager. In your letter: state the reason for your letter regarding the dress code; describe the specific item of cultural attire you wish to wear; ask for confirmation that this will be acceptable within the company policy.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to you as I have accepted tha possition of Junior 3D Animator at Red Frame studios and my starting date is on Moday, June 15th, I have reviewed the employee handbook, particularly the dress code policy, and I would like to clarify a spacific mater regarding my culture attire before my start date.

Having an Arabic culture roots, specialy on holidays, I wear white coton shirt, and pants and cover my head with white hat that sits right on my head without disturbing my vision or movement, so this outfit entirly cover body parts and practicl to work with. usualy i wear it on holidays.

I would be greatful if you confirm that wearing this item of culture tradition is acceptable under the company’s dress code, If there is any requirments regarding the colors, sizes or manner of wear, please inform me right away, and I will gladly adopt.

I would appreciate you help regardig this matter. I look forward to your response.

Yours Faithfully,

Mohamed Kamal

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

culture: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three required points: the reason for writing, a description of the cultural attire, and a request for confirmation. However, there are some omissions and lapses that prevent full task achievement. For instance, the reason for writing could be more clearly linked to the dress code policy, and the description of the attire could be more specific about how it relates to cultural significance. Additionally, the request for confirmation is clear but could be more formally phrased. Some minor grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'tha possition', 'spacific mater', 'coton') slightly detract from clarity. Overall, the letter fulfills the task adequately, but with some lapses in precision and formality.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, and the purpose is stated at the beginning. However, the flow is disrupted by several punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas and periods) and some awkward phrasing that makes the message harder to follow. The paragraphing is adequate but could be improved by separating the request for confirmation into its own paragraph for better clarity. To improve, use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea, and pay attention to sentence boundaries.

Lexical Resource

The letter uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'clarify', 'dress code policy', 'cultural attire', and 'acceptable'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'possition', 'spacific', 'mater', 'coton', 'practicl', 'greatful', 'requirments', 'regardig') and some awkward word choices (e.g., 'Having an Arabic culture roots', 'this outfit entirly cover body parts'). To improve, proofread for spelling and use more precise and natural collocations, such as 'I have Arabic cultural roots' and 'this outfit fully covers the body and is practical for work.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter attempts a range of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('I have accepted tha possition' should be 'the position'), incorrect verb forms ('I would be greatful if you confirm' should be 'if you could confirm'), and missing articles ('on Moday' should be 'on Monday', 'with white coton shirt' should be 'a white cotton shirt'). Punctuation is often missing, leading to run-on sentences. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses, articles, and punctuation, and consider writing shorter, clearer sentences.

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