Letter

Band 6+: You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, - Explain why you changed jobs. - Describe your new job. - Tell him / her your other news.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Shay,

I hope you are doing well. Guess what, I got a new job, and the great thing is that this is what I was looking for.

It’s in childcare centre, I am working as early childhood assistant. As you know I love children and I enjoy working with them. This work is like a stress buster for me because when I get cuddle and hugs of the little toddlers, it makes my day. Though I have to keep an eye on children so that they won’t hurt themselves, I find the job free from all worries.

Since we set up different activities everyday in our classroom, I love the way children get excited to perform every activity. I also love their dependency on teacher to follow every step from morning to evening.

Well, I really enjoy my work, what about you? How is your work, I mean do you like it or have you changed your job, because earlier you told me that you are tired of this job.

I look forward to hearing from you and see you soon.

Yours Lovingly,

Kaur

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter fully satisfies the requirements of the task. It is well-written and covers all points appropriately and sufficiently. There are no omissions or lapses.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The purpose of the letter is immediately apparent, and the progression of ideas is logical. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow between paragraphs. For example, the transition between describing the job and asking about the friend's work could be more seamless. Consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally effective for the task. There's a good use of descriptive language to convey enthusiasm about the job. To further enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to childcare and job satisfaction. For instance, instead of 'great thing,' you could use 'fantastic opportunity' or 'ideal position.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, 'It's in childcare centre, I am working as early childhood assistant' contains errors in sentence structure and article usage. Similarly, 'so that they won't hurt themselves' is correct but could be phrased more naturally as 'to prevent them from hurting themselves.' Focus on improving accuracy in basic grammar and sentence construction to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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