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Letter

Band 5+: You recently bought a children's toy online but when it arrived it was damaged. Write a letter to the manager of the toy shop. In your letter: describe what the problem with the toy is suggest how the damage may have happened say what you would like the manager to do

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Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing this in regard on the item which I bought recently from your online store.

I wanted to tell you about the problem that I have with the item purchased from your store. The item is a sonny play station 5 for my children, when it first arrived and opened, I noticed there is a crack on the base of the item.

I suspect it may had happened because the poor handling process by your store or the delivery courier. As I could not see any special fragile item sticker or note on the item which I bought from you store. Therefore, the courier would deliver the item in a poorly manner.

Regarding the problem that I mentioned above, I was wondering if I could get a replacement item from your store. Because I believes my play station 5 comes with a 1 year warranty and such damaged would be cover by your store.

I look forward hearing from you soon

Regards

Putra Raja

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

store: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by describing the problem with the toy, suggesting how the damage may have happened, and stating what the writer would like the manager to do. However, the response could be more detailed and specific to the situation.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The letter is somewhat coherent and cohesive, but there are some issues with paragraphing and the flow of ideas. Consider organizing the content more effectively to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

4.5

There is a decent range of vocabulary used, but some words are misspelled ('sonny' instead of 'Sony'). Try to use more varied and accurate vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

There are grammatical errors throughout the letter, such as 'I believes' should be 'I believe'. Work on improving the accuracy of grammar and sentence structures for a higher score.

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