Letter

Band 4+: You recently bought a new mobile phone, but it has a problem. Write a letter to the shop where you bought the phone. In your letter, you should include: - details of the phone and when you bought it - explain the problem with the phone - say what you would like the shop to do about it

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to extend of my dissatisfaction with the phone that I bought yesterday in YY Celular.

Iphone 17 have been released 1 month ago and I can not wait to get the new one. I saw the advertisement that YY Celular have 20% off discount for pre-order. I decided to bought it due to the promo and lots of other benefits offered.

Yesterday was the day that the phone ready and I really exited to picked up it. When i arrived, the staff was explained the phone as well. But when I arrived at home, I just realized that the screen is crack. I went to YY Celular to complain it and the staff did not accept the phone as I already open and bought it.

I hope this issues can solved by change my phone with the new one or offering a refund money.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon

Best regards,

Bintang

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 5

bought: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by providing details of the phone, explaining the problem, and stating the desired resolution. There are some minor lapses in providing specific details (e.g., exact model number, precise time of purchase). To improve, focus on providing more specific information to strengthen the clarity and impact of your letter. Also, ensure that the tone remains consistently formal and professional throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of information could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between your points to guide the reader. For example, when transitioning from describing the purchase to explaining the problem, a clearer link would enhance coherence. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance precision and variety. For instance, instead of saying you 'extend of my dissatisfaction,' you could use a more direct phrase like 'express my dissatisfaction.' Also, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to phone issues and resolutions to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency (e.g., 'have been released' should align with the timeline you're describing), correct article usage (e.g., 'bought it due to the promo'), and sentence structure. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully can help reduce these errors. Also, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and correct spelling to improve accuracy.

Band 4+: You recently bought a new mobile phone, but it has a problem. Write a letter to the shop where you bought the phone. In your letter, you should include: - details of the phone and when you bought it - explain the problem with the phone - say what you would like the shop to do about it

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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