Letter

Band 7+: You recently purchased a new laptop from an online store, but it arrived with several defects. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged laptop. You should include details about: - the specific defects you found on the laptop - how the defects are affecting the laptop's performance - what resolution you expect from the online store (e.g., repair, replacement, or refund).

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to issue a complain regarding the delivery of the laptop which I have bought from your online store. The laptop was delivered on Monday and the packaging was sealed. When the packaging was removed, it was found that the display screen of the laptop was already damaged.

The screen is broken with a huge crack at the center. It shows no display so the laptop cannot be started. The screen is all blacked out even if you charge it full and the laptop is nowhere in a useful working condition.

Since I am a software engineer, I work on very tight deadlines. The purpose of this online purchase was to save my time and quality to be delivered at my doorstep. Meanwhile, the damaged good being delivered has affected the pace of my workload. I am far behind in meeting those deadlines, leaving me in a difficult position at my company.

Considering all of above issues, It would be the best approach if your company can offer an exchange of my damaged good. Replacement will be the most convenient option for me as it will save the hassle to go through another shopping spree. However, if this is not possible a refund will be the best way to resolve the matter and gain a positive feedback from my end as your consistent customer.

I will be waiting for any one of the necessary measures to be taken as soon as possible.

Your’s Faithfully,

Ayesha Siddiqa

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

laptop: 5

delivered: 3

screen: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses all three bullet points: it clearly describes the defective screen and missing charger, explains the impact on work, and states expectations (replacement or refund). The tone is appropriate and the letter is well-organized. Minor lapses include a few grammatical errors (e.g., 'a complain', 'Your's Faithfully') and the omission of the missing charger in the detailed description, though it is mentioned in the opening. To improve, ensure all details are consistently covered and proofread for minor errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphs for the problem, its impact, and the expected resolution. The message is generally easy to follow. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the final paragraph is abrupt. Consider using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to link ideas more naturally, and provide a more polished closing sentence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate and mostly accurate, with some good attempts at formal language (e.g., 'issue a complaint', 'consistent customer'). However, there are a few awkward or informal phrases (e.g., 'shopping spree', 'nowhere in a useful working condition') that could be replaced with more precise and professional terms. Aim for more sophisticated and natural word choices, such as 'inconvenience' instead of 'hassle'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'issue a complain' should be 'issue a complaint', 'the laptop cannot be started' is awkward, and 'Your's Faithfully' should be 'Yours faithfully'. Additionally, some sentences are overly long or run-on. Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions. Proofreading for punctuation and article usage is also recommended.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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You recently bought a laptop from an online store, but it arrived damaged. Write a letter to the store manager to complain about the issue. Include: when and what you bought; what the problem is; what you would like the manager to do about it.

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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