Letter

Band 7+: You recently purchased a new laptop from an online store, but it arrived with several defects. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged laptop. You should include details about: - the specific defects you found on the laptop - how the defects are affecting the laptop's performance - what resolution you expect from the online store (e.g., repair, replacement, or refund).

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to complain about the laptop I recently purchased from your online store.I bought the laptop model “Dell XPS 13” about 5 days ago on your online platform.

I noticed that there is an issue with the battery of the laptop. It was advertised on your platform that the model I chose had a strong battery capacity and can last for about 5 hours when fully charged. After the laptop is fully charged, the battery doesn’t last up to 2 hours before I am notified that the battery is low. I also noticed that it is only when the battery is completely down that the laptop charges. I plugged in the charger at 60, 50 and 25 percent respectively but the laptop did not charge. It was when I plugged in the charger at 10 percent that the laptop charged. In addition, the speaker is not loud. I tried trouble shooting and rebooting the laptop but it was still the same problem.

All these problems are affecting my work because once the battery is down when there is power shutage, I can’t continue with my record keeping and sales analysis. Also, I can’t enjoy movies when I decide to watch movies because the speaker is low and the battery doesn’t last.

I will send the laptop so the company can cross check all the issues I mentioned. I will appreciate if the company can send another laptop since I got this laptop recently. Please send an instruction on how I can send the laptop back to the company.

Thanks in anticipation of your favorable response.

Yours faithfully,

Adebayo Ayomide

Word Count: 275

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

laptop: 12

battery: 7

about: 3

charged: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses all three bullet points: it clearly describes the laptop's issues (battery and speaker) and how they differ from the advertised product, explains the impact on work and personal life, and states the expected resolution (replacement and return instructions). The tone is formal and appropriate for a complaint. Minor lapses include a slight lack of detail on the exact advertised specifications (e.g., battery life claim) and the impact could be more specific, but overall the response is relevant and sufficient. To improve, consider adding the order number or purchase date for clarity, and explicitly state a deadline for the resolution.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The sequence of issues is presented coherently, and the impact on work and personal life is clearly explained. However, the transition between the description of the problems and their impact could be smoother. Consider using cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to link ideas more explicitly. The paragraphing is adequate, but the final paragraph could be more clearly separated from the request for resolution.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate, with some good attempts at formal language (e.g., 'I am writing to complain', 'in anticipation of your favorable response'). However, there are a few instances of informal or imprecise phrasing, such as 'cross check' (better: 'inspect' or 'verify') and 'power shutage' (should be 'power outage'). The range of vocabulary is adequate but could be enhanced with more precise terms related to technical issues and customer service. Overall, the lexical resource is sufficient for the task but lacks the sophistication expected of a band 9. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. However, there are several minor errors and awkward phrasings that detract from overall accuracy. For example, 'I noticed that there is an issue' should be 'I noticed that there was an issue' for consistency, and 'I will appreciate if' should be 'I would appreciate it if'. Additionally, the sentence 'It was when I plugged in the charger at 10 percent that the laptop charged' is grammatically correct but could be rephrased for clarity. Punctuation is generally correct, but there are a few missing spaces after periods. These errors are not severe but are noticeable, preventing a higher score.

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