Letter

Band 6+: You work in a busy but poorly organized office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter • Ask to be considered for this job • Explain why you would be a suitable candidate • Outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

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Dear Smith,

I am writing to express my interest in the supervisor in the department that I would like to be considered for this job because I want to have more opportunities to apply for a new job position.

I have worked in the departments for several years so I have experience and a good understanding of our daily tasks. I also can manage tasks at the same time and I have good communication and good relationships with colleagues and clients. Moreover, I can stay calm when I have difficult problems and solve them.

However, currently the jobs have several problems. Firstly, the office is busy but poorly organised and tasks are not clearly assigned. This may lead to confusions and delays. In addition, in the workplace, some employees have too much work and sometimes they have to work overtime, others have fewer responsibilities. Consequently, this may create a tired environment. If I were appointed as supervisor, I would introduce clearer job responsibilities and distribute tasks more fairly.

I would appreciate if you could arrange either replacement or a full refund as soon as possible

I look forward to your response

Your faithfully,

Ha Trang.

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tasks: 4

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter covers all three bullet points: it asks to be considered, explains suitability, and outlines problems with proposed changes. The content is relevant and generally well-developed. However, there are some lapses: the opening sentence is awkwardly phrased, the reason for seeking promotion is vague, and the final paragraph contains an irrelevant request about a replacement/refund, which detracts from the task. To improve, ensure every part of the letter is directly related to the purpose, and refine the language for clarity and formality.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized with clear paragraphs for each bullet point. However, the final paragraph ('I would appreciate if you could arrange either replacement or a full refund...') is irrelevant to the task and disrupts the overall coherence. Also, the opening sentence is a bit convoluted. To improve, ensure every part of the letter directly addresses the task and maintain a logical flow from introduction to body to conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate and appropriate for the task, with some good phrases like 'express my interest' and 'distribute tasks more fairly.' However, there is some repetition (e.g., 'good' used twice) and a few awkward phrasings (e.g., 'I also can manage tasks at the same time'). To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'multitask' instead of 'manage tasks at the same time').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. For example, 'the supervisor in the department that I would like to be considered for this job' is confusing, and 'I have worked in the departments' should be 'I have worked in the department.' Also, 'Your faithfully' should be 'Yours faithfully,' and the final paragraph is a major error as it is irrelevant. To improve, proofread carefully, use a wider range of sentence structures, and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions.

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